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- slice0
They finally got me out of the elevator. Few noticed. I sat outside and laughed out loud watching the sun set over the ocean from the stoop. (Ok, you can’t really see the sun set on the water, it sets over the mountains in summer but you can see the ocean from the stoop, if you crane your neck a little.) Hard-bodied pony tailed 30-somethings jogged by giving me the smile. I get it a lot in LA. Its the Kramer thing or they’re all just desperate sad and lonely. LA is the loneliness place on the planet. When I was in NY/NJ over the winter not one chick made eye contact with me. They know better. My neighbor’s watching Kerry’s speech. She’s pissed I’m not doing the same. I said “I’m already voting for him – watching the convention seems like having to do homework”. I’m gonna bust her chops about it later. The other day she was having a sign painting party – attended by only one person. An 80 year old actress. Her dilettante roommate who has got to be on the same meds they were giving Ozzie, wasn’t partaking in the fun. She was just agreeing with me and my slogan opinions as she shuffle her enormous breasts under the grrrly-tee from the couch. They were painting anti-bush slogans on gesso’d cardboard. The gesso smelled nice. ‘Sbeen a long time since I painted. Probably ten years. Fucking computers. I hope the kiddies like my FMT posting. I’ve listened to that Born To Be Dizzy track on full volume looped for the last two hours. My brain is fried. Gidget called and asked if me to save her a seat. She came wiggling, literally, in late – with beverages! She had five inch heels on. She still looked like she was standing in a hole. NOTE: the natural Blonde thing in not-braided but one behind each ear long long pony tails, tanned tattoos with big knockers in a halter top is a good look. Ok, I called her but she did bring ice coffee. Got to put the water on. Gonna make fettuccini w/a pink marinara sauce. I’ll make you a plate. You can heat it up for later.
- slice0
I went to Save-0n. Which is kinda like a Rite Aid, which is kinda like a CVS. Had to get some stuff. A Mennen Speed Stick and a dish rack. I know. So I'm waiting at the cashier and the aboriginal looking Philippino Grandma and Granddaughter teen were buying lotto tickets. There was a problem. The cashier had printed out the wrong kind of tickets. After a half an hour they got it straightened out. My turn. The cashier asked me if I wanted the tickets (for face value, no discount). I thought, if the-straight-outta-central-casti... fortune-telling-looking-grandma and her grandkid don't want them, I don't want them. I said no. Then, I walked out AND using the pay phone in the parking lot (who uses pay phones these days?) - is Wayne - the big Iowan ex-cop now game inventor. He had dark glasses on, looked like he was whispering. He gave me the 'thumbs-up'.
Connecting the dots, I thought maybe I should have bought the lotto tickets, or should be happy I didn't. I'm not sure. Thats why I writing this.
Speaking of which, the English chick called me, love the way she says “PeeTAH”. She was actually once in a Harem in Saudi Arabia – no shit. Ok, I called her – so sue me. Busted the neighbor’s chops about the DNC – check. The neighbor said she had a Republican over and now the Republican is going to vote for Kerry. I asked if there was food involved in this alleged conversion. She told me about her email blog. I tried to tell her, its more of a newsletter because a blog is on the weB – that the B in “web” is where the B in blog ... geez I even find myself tiresome. Tell you one thing, you can’t teach these 40-somethings anything (ha! Mr.Randcorp).
Gidget emailed me today and said something about "fun in the sun...no, not Tahiti...yet" – we’re fantasizing about Bora-bora together – splitsville baby. Said she moved here ten years ago and 'sbeen trying to get out since. Did I tell you she smelled just like butterscotch pudding.?
Later, I'm sitting at the deli outside and Patrick McGoohan walks by gets into a 15 year beat up teal green Integra. Mr. Secret Agent man! Looked more like Mr. Decrepit Aging Man. The Prisoner is back on TV - Fridays on BBC America after The Avengers and The Saint. Apparently he's been in a coupla movies over the last 30 years (Braveheart for one). I would've guessed he was dead. I will keep an eye out for him. I gots some questions. Like "Which are you again? number 6 or number 2?" I had runny eggs and rye toast. No one noticed.
- canuck0
So I need a new roomate.
I posted something up on the local unversity Web site, and I get this crazy russian guy who wants to check the place out.
Man this dude freaked me out, he was straight communist. He hardly spoke any english and looked sketchy as hell.
He tried bargaining with me over the rent, trying to get it for like $100 cheaper a month. Yeah like I want some cheap bastard like this guy moving in.
Well, i'm looking forward to seeing the next reject who is interested in my place.
- E__________0
Today I thought, why not tomorrow. Yesterday I thought the same about today, which was tomorrow yesterday. Got me thinking about yesterday, but decided it was better to think about it tomorrow.
- ********0
Drove back to phl from new england today. Vacation is over, and I feel... peculiar. It's very humid here, I have a headache and feel kind of tingly and weak--maybe having a stroke. I can't feel my hands. The start of my biennial post-vacation cavlacade of sleeplessness anxiety attack, or something even worse? time will tell. Oh yeah, there was a sort of flood here, which tore up part of the driveway and sent shrubs and giant rocks hundreds of yards into the woods. Nevertheless. will cherish memories of our beautiful vacation at least until my first client-induced winnebago man episode, probably tomorrow. Will kepp you posted. As if you should care.
- canuck0
Damn you Americans.
I ordered a part for my bike (bicycle) today, and the agent didn't know where Ontario was. I have serious doubts that this part is going to reach my house.
- slice0
After lunch – two liquadatos – I took Gidget to the Apple Store.
I said, “I went to High School with Susan Liquadato. She had an older brother named Fredo”.
Ha ha.
Ha.
Gidget at the Apple store left a lot to be desired. Walked out with the “Caveman in a Spaceship Award”. Afterwards we went over to the Ford dealership to check on an '05 Mustang, she wants one. What she said in her car, over the blasting Roxy CD was, “What I really want is a 67 Chevelle – lopro.” What she needs is some ADD meds.
Picture Travis Bickle’s friend Iris Steensma ‘cept prettier – with the dueling blonde ponytails plus tattoos at 35 and at the beach. That’s Gidget.
We sat at the dog park. Had a long talk about chasing rabbits.
The last words she said as she dropped me off were “Forget the bunny”.
Words to live by.
Illusions die hard, Crush.
Sport: “I used to have a pony, on Coney Island. It got hit by a truck.”
FTB
- canuck0
Well I just concluded my mass mailing of over 50 design studios in Toronto, looking for a junior spot. I hope I get atleast one or two interviews. I'm hungry and I need to pay rent.
- slice0
So Gidget calls, freakin out cause she just hit her face on the soap dish in the shower and split her eye brow open. (You can't make this shit up.) Says she's dripping wet and bleeding. I rush over with band-aids. Ok I called her but you knew that. By the time I get there she's dry and dressed. She got a half inch slice vertically just left of her left eye. No black eye - if she had a shiner and I forgot the camera (which I did) I would have never been able to forgive myself. Could've use a coupla stitches but she aint got insurance. I do my best with butterfly suture-like band-aids. Like the fireman I had to do what I had to do - walked into the burning building. Of course she waited until three hours later to tell me that I should have wash my hands because she has Hep-C. GREAT.
We drive to coffee. A moment.
She says, "You're right - you should've brought the camera."
"Why?" I asked.
She says, "Because the windows on the van back there. One said WASH ME and the other said I LIKE TO EAT PUSSY. Now that's worthy of a photograph".She had a point.
Five slices of pizza for dinner, one frozen yogurt for dessert.
- ********0
slice:
an enigma wrapped in a mystery--
or is it the other waya round?
- slice0
I can see a small patch of over-saturated blue sky when I look up out of the furnished one room rut, which is now 110 stories deep.
We decided to shift to a policy of "de-escalation." Said she won't set herself on fire for me anymore.
I’m dancing with tears in my eyes.
Short shorts with a men's dress shirt on top. Liked the shirt was the only thing she had on. Legs were tan, lean, smooth and muscular. Dueling pony tails a blazing, old school red clogs.
Hide and seek.
Beaten with the sledge hammer of God, FTB.
I haven’t eaten anything, mah spoon –
Is too big.
- ********0
so, two hair cuts later, 3 hours in the chair, i finally got my hair exactly how i want it........ i cant decide if its more of an 80's skate cut or 50's bob cut LOL, none the less, less feels more :-D
oh yeh, slice is the champion of all bloggers ;-)
- grayhood0
awefully thirsty, thinking of heading down the street to get a cherry coke.
my boss left for LA at four o'clock today, i am taking advantage of the situation by leaving right at 6:00pm, for a change, and buying a ticket to see the metallica documentry at the theater on 2nd street. i know they have sucked as of late but i liked them as a youngster and it should prove at least interesting... i hope.
maybe i will spike my cherry coke with some rum or wiskey and pretent i am a rockstar, which my luck the pimply faced usher will probably confiscate my bottle at the velvet rope. oh well, i just maybe rockstars eat popcorn sometimes.
i tip my booze soaked bag of popcorn to mr. slice.
- ********0
I need some clliff's notes slice
- jevad0
slice - you should write blogs professionally mate....
- ********0
you guys are all champs ;-)
- jevad0
chumps?
- slice0
Fell asleep where I woke up. Did some overtime in Rutsville. They were out of Spoon Size Shredded Wheat™ so I wound up buying the original size. I was wondering why the box was so big. They're gigantic. Only three bricks (¿whattaya call them?) fit per bowl.
The kids say that wall drop in barefeet is punk. That's cool but everything is "punk" with these skateboarder punks.
Randcore wants these to be shorter.
Two days with no Gidget and my inner Don Knotts is quivering.
"Mr. Chicken De-escalates". Now, THAT is punk.
- ********0
I want slice's blogs to be longer, just annoted at bottom with factual summary of poetics above. Or would this spoil the mystery, like finding out what a galaxie 500 song means?
- slice0
(The thread threads continue, this maybe not the best day to blog.)
As I struggled at breakfast with not enough milk for the Shredded Wheat™, I wrote a quick to the not wholly unattractive 40-something woman across the alley on a post-it note: "If you're planning on another loud fighting, crying, fucking and drunkenness session tonight, you may want to close your windows."
I feel the blackness rising, I can taste it on my lips. Feels like it could be category 5 with an extended stay in the basement this time around. I'm fortifying myself with static. Fearful aimlessness. The blogging has stalled, am I to blame or does my ignore list now include everyone?
I threw the post-it note away – she deserves it but, who gets what they deserve?
♥