Straw poll
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- 14 Responses
- Khurram
Q:Signing cards for people you don't know
Context:
her: "Khurram, you wanna sign Vicky's card?"
him: "Who?"
her: "Vick Oxxxxxxx"
him: "I don't know who that is"
her: "I take it that's a no then?"
him: "Ummm" *shrug*
her: *look of bitter spite*Would you, yes or no?
- harmsie0
I sign, but with an inappropriate message, ie. if a brithday card, write good luck with you new job, been nice working with you. Or vise versa.
They won't ask you again
- Greedo0
I always draw a random vegetable with a face stating "I am a... (insert pertinent vegetable here)"
Changes it up a bit at least...
- autoflavour0
sign with a different name
- autoflavour0
simply write fuck you candy, and hope they visit qbn.
- hoopy0
For a leaving card
Pick a co-worker of the opposite sex to the leaver and put "I always REALLY liked you, we should go out for a drink. Please give me a call sometime soon' followed by their number... and sign it with their name.
- SkyPoo0
At one company I worked at I got so fucking bored signing leaving cards, birthday cards, wedding cards, divorce cards, "I heard you dropped two stone" cards and all the other bollocks that I went a bit Patrick Bateman with it for fun. I would write increasingly disturbing messages from fictional co-workers.
Then I wrote something in this card to a girl who was leaving to return to New Zealand. I didn't know her, at least I didn't think I did. I wrote something along the lines of "Hey fuckbunny, too bad you're leaving so soon, I've knocked one out everysingle day just thinking about chewing on your little butt pucker".
Late that evening I was sat in the pub and this really sweet, utterly innocent young virginal flower who was all smiles and tweety bird sighs pulled the card out of her bag and began to go through all the messages. Then she got to that one. She was clearly horrified and as I sat there and watched their lips moving in discussion it became apparent I had pretty much ruined her entire visit to Britain. She looked like she'd just found her parents cut up into chunks in a greasey old box.
Then her friends all pointed me out and the look she gave me killed a good sized portion of my soul right there. I was hated after that by every female in that company.
- Khurram0
^ what??? Hated by every female in the company???
lol, dude, you are WRONG. That's just you being paranoid. Trust me, they ALL WANTED TO JUMP YOUR DICK AFTER THAT. No doubt.
My standard message is: "Good luck with your new job Gemma, and may your first child be a masculine one"
But now i'm gonna use that one spooky. Seriously, i've emailed it to myself.
safe.
- killthefish0
To stop it from happening you could also rip up the card and toss it in the trash.
Then dump the trash on the person who gave you the card.
Then say, "Get the fuck out of my cube. I don't even know who the hell you are. I don't know any of you people. Fuck it." Then pull out your gun.
Then do the thing with the pen and the poop on the desk and the shitty.
Or you could just sign it.
- Nairn0
I think killthefish is on to something - instead of signing it, mark the card with bodily excreta. Kinda like love letters from days of old, with a breath of a sweetheart's favourite scent. Except not.
- In answer to your question, K - I'd sign it. But that's 'cos I make friends with everyone, being such a nice guy'n'all.Nairn
- megE0
sign every card - Get Well Soon!
- monoboy0
'Over the years, I've come to regard you as somebody I met.'
Or
'When we first met, I thought nothing of you, but now. I'd multiply that by a thousand.'