Turns out I'm dating a Pro...

  • Started
  • Last post
  • 90 Responses
  • AQUTE0

    So after you get tested for covaids what are your options?

  • Brabo_Brabo-14

    You dont pay for sex with a prostitute.

    You're paying for them to go away.

    • Correct. You never paid for that stock photo of your Polish model gf and that shit won't go away.mathinc
  • SimonFFM0

    Super interesting read, catpower! Thanks for this.

  • SimonFFM0

    Good thing, you're from LA. For a moment, I thought you were dating RM.

    • Ricky Martin, Roger Moore, Rachel Maddow?CyBrainX
    • Or more favorably: Rose McGowan or Rachel McAdamsCyBrainX
    • Rupert Murdochcherub
  • babydick0

    Great story, but get the fuck out of this mess. Life has much more to offer than just good, filthy sex. This shit will haunt you, trust me.

    • just like her life haunts her? Maybe she just needs a break?Ianbolton
    • Lol yeah, a break from her fucked up past. How, genius?babydick
    • Genius? How does anyone get a break? Someone offers them a hand. We help each other through the dark times. Just keep some boundaries in placeIanbolton
  • Gnash0

    Is there a masters degree you can’t get these days?

    • Certainly hope she wasn’t defending a doctorateGnash
  • catpower6

    Some have asked where I'm going from here. I did get tested for literally everything and came up clean, thank goodness. Going forward is complicated. Some groundwork:

    First of all, sex workers often hang out with other sex workers. I've since found out that my girl's roommate is also a pro. If I'm being candid, I'm probably going to see if I can pull off a threesome at her place, but we'll see. For the record, I know this is a terrible idea.

    Her roommate is properly nuts. She seems like the kind of chick who would eat your ass one sec and then torch your couch the next. My girl says she's bi, so I guess I'll call her bluff and ride shotgun? Could be interesting, even though I know it will end in horror.

    Also, these girls are industrious. Like a logo designer who expands to do positioning strategy, once a girl turns to sex work, they start expanding their offerings in the industry. My girl currently has THREE "sugar daddies" (that she assures me she's sunsetting... ahmmm...) that each pay the equivalent of her rent in exchange for companionship and bi-weekly fucking. She also had an OnlyFans (she's since quit that... sporadic pay) and occasional camming. The roommate gets flown to various cities to do "massages," but they're cagy on the details.

    Of course, I should walk away. This is chaos — an absolute shitshow. I'm a proper professional with a solid career. I don't do drugs. I'm old as fuck. I should be dating a dentist and go apple picking or some shit, but yet... but yet...

    Sex like this changes you. She likes being "reclaimed." The psychology of this is fascinating. "Reclaiming" is basically where I start off very assertively and end with the most gentle cuddling you could imagine. Trying to keep this thread PG-13, but the range is both concerning and intoxicating. You feel like you're both the disease and the medication simultaneously. Fucked. Up.

    Though I don't know when her other "dates" are, I can tell by her communication patterns when she's out. I was 99% sure that she was out the other night, and I actually got turned on. That is so fucked up, and I know it. Like I said, sex like this changes you, and not for the better, almost assuredly.

    I think the move is to just go with it, see what absurdity I can pull off/she'll let me get away with, see just how depraved we can take this, demand constant testing, and drive the wheels off this midlife crisis into an early grave. I'm only half kidding. I'm so fucked.

    • https://www.youtube.…shapesalad
    • youtube needs more Hubermansted
    • I think you should explore this to its fullest and quit when it becomes a problem. Do you have anything better to do with your time anyways? You might evenzarkonite
    • learn a thing or two about yourself... you probably already have!zarkonite
    • this is turning into some kind of a david lynch/david cronenburg moviehans_glib
    • You're going to get burned....badly.utopian
    • Whatever you do, this thread must go on! You've got the entire bleacher section of the "QBN married with kids old guys club" cheering for you.nocomply
    • ^ Yes, the burning will be probably some STDbabydick
    • haha this is great. She still has clients???OP31
    • This is much more interesting that pretty womandee-dubs
    • You sound like a sociopath so maybe you've found your level.i_monk
    • ^ Yup, and openly admitting this shit is fucked ain't helpingbabydick
    • At least keep this going long enough to make a limited series on HBO. Consider our entertainment.CyBrainX
    • You gonna keep testing yourself every week
      now like with COVID? :)
    • It does sound a bit like the premise of a shitty Netflix series, but I see nothing wrong as long as you don't get taken in/scammed by her. Use it as a bridge toyuekit
    • your next real relationship.yuekit
    • Gonna cause issues when next GF finds out about your last GF sex workernoRGB
  • brandonp0

    What graduate degree is she working on? I assume psychology?

  • pinkfloyd4

    Dear thread, tldr;

  • SimonFFM2

    As long as you don’t go bankrupt, I don’t see a problem. At some point you will feel miserable but you did after your divorce as well.

    Just try to enjoy life and don’t overthink.

    • Thanks, Tony Hawk. What a shitty advice. Money is the last thing to worry about in this soon to be cum & tears covered disasterbabydick
    • sup babydick u haven't got your daily rubbing, why so cranky?sted
    • All good. Simon is cool and very talented. But I'm right.babydick
  • Krassy2

    Reading your writing feels like watching a great movie.

  • nb4

    Why are you trying to keep this thread PG-13

    Everyone here is over 40

    • I get the impression the cast of characters here are the same people for the last two decades.CyBrainX
    • whoa calm down I can still count my grey hairsArchitectofFate
  • monNom0

    "these girls are industrious" -- That should give you pause.

    I'm going to do some creative writing at the end of Pretty Woman, just to flesh out the idea from here.

    You are 3 months in, you are deeply in lust with her, and you're becoming completely uninhibited. Your guard is down. She does things no other girl would do, things beyond your wildest dreams, and she does them with YOU, an old man past your prime. You could never find someone like this again -- That makes her irreplaceable. You do them together -- that makes you a team.

    You never question the fact that she's so interested in someone older than her. That she continues to see other clients on the side. You are blinded by the physical side of things and ignoring the obvious red flags.

    Things go along like this for a while and you settle into this lovely world. Then one day, disaster strikes.

    This part is going to be a bit choose your own adventure: She wants to be with you, but there is going to be some kind of obstacle - Maybe she can't make rent, has credit card debt, maybe you need to pay off a pimp. maybe you need to pay for an accident she had, maybe you need to _murder_ someone for her. Maybe she just needs a bridge loan to finally secure her series A financing for her crypto-OnlyFans competitor that will surely make you two BILLIONS when she launches the NFT. Whatever it is, it's a problem that you can solve, and if you don't solve it, it's going to prevent you two from being together, or from having this carefree trusting relationship.

    You cough up the money, or whatever it is, because obviously you want to help. You two are a team, right? and she is the most valuable thing in your life - you've basically slotted her into the 'Wife' role that was missing from your life, and she's way better than your old wife. She is so grateful and you are her hero. Hurray! crisis averted, back to your surreal life! Way to go champ, you saved the day.

    Except, it's not quite back to your surreal life. depending on what that crisis was, this might play out differently. Either she's late paying back that loan, or she needs just a little bit more, or the person she got in an accident with is now injured and going to sue and she doesn't have insurance and they are demanding money, or the guy you killed has a brother and he knows you did it, or maybe she just gets kind of hard to get ahold of... and she's not as enthusiastic anymore... and it doesn't feel the same... and you sort of drift apart... Whatever the details, this story ends with you two not together, and with your bank account significantly lighter than it was before.

    And maybe after it's all done with, and she's gone from your life, and you are thinking about those great times, you recall that it was her that sat down next to you in that bar long ago... and that she had other 'pros' as acquaintances, and maybe there were people in the mix that you weren't introduced to, people that might have been working you, running the show like some kind of prostitute Ocean's 11, And you think about how you were in a lonely place, having left a marriage and trying to replace that hole in your life. And how the perfect woman (that we keep forgetting is a prostitute), sat down right next to you at the bar and fulfilled your every fantasy...

    Or maybe you don't have that insight, and once she's gotten difficult to get ahold of, and you are lonely, and feeling a hole in your life once again, someone else sits down next to you at a bar. Because it worked last time.

    • In Thailand we called them 'sick buffalo' stories.Brabo_Brabo
    • @monNom thank yousted
    • monNom... I don't really disagree with this. You're potentially right. I wish I could share some larger context, but I'm aware that could be an angle.catpower
    • Not sure which movie would be better - "Ocean's Perfect 10", or some kind of meet the parents romcom where you bring home a proustite.monNom
    • They both sound pretty good tbh.monNom
    • I agree.SimonFFM
    • I think the moral of the story here is simply, don't let your guard down with an escort who has three other sugar daddys and is seeing clients at the same time.yuekit
  • sted0

  • catpower5

    Since we've come this far, I might as well share a bit of craziness (that all makes sense now). On my mother's grave, I swear all of this is true. Writing it out is actually helping me wrap my head around it. It's been a lot to take.

    One night we went out, and I kept noticing that she was acting a little off. We went from one place to the next, getting progressively drunker. As the night came to an end, I went up to settle the bill, and she disappeared. I texted and called — nothing. I respect the art of an Irish Exit, but this was just bizarre. I decided to peek into the women's restroom and saw her boots under the door. Ah, got it. It can happen to the best of us.

    I'm a grown-ass man. Bathroom issues are fine. Take your time. I'll get you home — no big deal. I went to wait on the street.

    Five minutes later, she popped out as though nothing was odd. I tried to make her feel calm/no shame etc. Out of sympathy, I lied and said that I wasn't feeling great and could use some sleep. I was trying to give her an easy out. Instead, she draped herself on me, bit my ear, and said that she could "cure" me. *cue awkward boner

    The Uber came, and in what seemed like one fluid motion, we got in, closed the door, she pulled her tits were out and unzipped my pants. I had to stop her from going down on me right there. I've worked too hard for my Uber rating to blow it figuratively and literally. Priorities, people. Priorities.

    We get to my place, and she's like, "I want you to fuck me in the shower." *cue awkward boner again

    We undress and start making out in the shower. It was incredibly erotic. Then, without saying a word, she turned her back to me, grabbed my cock, and pushed it in from behind without protection. This was NOT consensual. At the time, I didn't know about her "profession," but it still obviously made me nervous. But my junk is nothing if not persistent.

    It really is amazing what you can look past as a guy. 30 minutes earlier, I thought she had explosive diarrhea, and now I'm clocking in right beside ground zero to put in some of that ancient work.

    After a bit, I pull out, look down, and realize that I have blood all over my junk. What. The. Fuck. My literal thought was, "and this is how you get AIDs." Again, I'm a grown-ass man. Periods are fine. But surely I deserve a heads up. Knowing what I know now, it makes a lot of sense. It's her MO. Do something reprehensible, mask it with god-tier sexual energy, and let the reveal murder your soul.

    We stop, I wash off with the thoroughness of a surgeon, we get dressed, and we go to bed. We're nearly asleep, and all of a sudden, she starts grinding on me aggressively. Blood starts getting on fucking everything. While she's working to recreate the horse scene in the Godfather, I'm debating my options and questioning existence itself. Should I go with it or stop this nonsense. Life is all about choices.

    At this point, I've been borderline assaulted, treated like a tampon, and turned into a human Rorschach Test. She can't get pregnant right now, so I just went with it. I have this mental slide show of images from that night that read more like a UFC highlight reel than a romance novel. Aggressive. Deplorable. Intense. Just ridiculous.

    Perhaps the funniest part was us waking up to this crime scene. I asked her if she wanted to go to a diner. We decontaminated, got dressed, and acted like everything was normal. I have never had more mixed feelings in my life. I remember looking at this whore in the eyes while eating an omelet and wondering what on earth my ex-wife was doing at the same time. Her Saturdays usually started with HGTV, and here I am making small talk with the fourth seal of the apocalypse. "At least she can't get pregnant... at least there's that..."

    • AIDsbabydick
    • I mean, it's a great read and we're all entertained, but going in raw means you're out of your fucking mindbabydick
    • Yeah, I'm never doing that again ever.catpower
    • How was it not consensual? She told you she wanted to fuck you in the shower and you got in the shower with a boner.palimpsest
    • It's borderline, I'll grant you. We had always used protection in the past, even in the shower, and we never talked about it.catpower
    • She just put it in without consulting me, and she knows I've been adamant in the past about protection.catpower
    • I think this was one of the things Julian Assange was accused of by the Swedish woman he dated, unconsensual sex without a condom.yuekit
    • Or rather the sex was consensual, but the lack of condom he didn't get their agreement on.yuekit
    • Rubber in the shower sounds weird to me. Like fucking in the shower with flip-flops on. Guess that's just how I was raised.palimpsest
    • Exactly. The sex was consensual. The lack of condom was not, and she knew it.catpower
    • I'm waiting for some butt activitiesbabydick
    • What a story, Mark.NBQ00
    • How long have you been together exactly?
      Also, this is how you split text into paragraphs
    • you just earned your red wings.fooler
    • You writing an erotic novel right? And testing the water on us?pango
    • Also. AIDSpango
    • I hope that you really do have 9 lives!utopian
    • @Pango... all true. Also if this was an erotic novel, I can't imagine who would read this for pleasure?!catpower
    • People... Lol
    • one more vote for AIDS.CyBrainX
    • Now I understand why you’re puzzled. Reminds me of a girl I once dated who told me she dreamt she stabbed me. I split up.SimonFFM
    • Look at that bitch eating chickenHijoDMaite
    • she's pozzed youBrabo_Brabo
    • TLDRautoflavour
    • Just listened to that "right click, speech", hilarious : ) but you definitely have Aids, byemrAtor
    • Growing up on a council estate makes me feel your vibe man. Sounds like the shit I went through just to get laid.Ianbolton
    • Ah the old "I have to take a huge ghost shit when the bill comes" lolcannonball1978
  • palimpsest13

  • cherub0

    I think utopian is right. She's gonna run a sick burn on you.

    Sure there are 20 something girls you meet at a bar, and they seem to be all the right things, and some don't even mind your age too much, at least not at the moment... and they seem to be living a wild, carefree life not unlike juliette lewis's character in natural born killers. Their impulsive careless nature seems to be fueled by a desire for nonstop sex, and when we see them behave this way, we stop thinking with the big head. We like to live vicariously through them. We can't say no to this type, maybe the greeks called them sirens.

    There is a certain other type of twenty something girl you meet at a bar, that only pretends to be the type above. She's actually quite mixed up inside, and uses wild sex as a drug to escape her problems, probably along with real drugs too. She's holding on to you for stability, while she takes both of you on a ride. The problem is she's so mixed up she can't actually see where either of you are going, she's just thriving on raw sensory stuff... what feels good at this moment in time? snort some coke? he fuck me? I find another, where's my purse... damn, I'm out of smokes again.

    The first type, I was lucky enough to meet ONE like that, I actually picked her up off the side of the road(really), she turned out to be a wild sex loving alcoholic with a killer set of tits who let me fuck her in a public pool in the middle of an apartment courtyard at 2am. No regrets. Wild and horny. A dream come true. She literally would not put clothes on.

    The 2nd type has burned me a few times and I've learned to steer clear. You should too. If they have an opportunity to get out of a shitty situation by fucking you over, they won't hesitate to do it. In their fucked up mind state you never know what they'll do, and if they figure out you love them they'll roll you.

    Don't think it hasn't occurred to me you might be the kind of handsome, charming gent that can attract the 1st type. It does happen. But I hope for your sake it's not the 2nd type. Not trying to kill your fun or be overly negative.

  • utopian0

  • catpower0

    @Cherub and @Utopian... Appreciate the thoughts. @Cherub, I can totally relate to your two types (and thanks for the story). I've experienced versions of both, but never to this extent.

    I'm only telling part of the story here. I'm no saint either. What I've said about her is true, but I've manipulated her as well in ways that she doesn't realize because I didn't entirely trust her from the beginning (though I could never have imagined all this shit).

    I think she's 35% type 1 and 65% type 2... (and yes, 100% nuts). In all seriousness, nothing would surprise me. I'm positive she'll try to fuck me over at some point, but she's in a "honeypot" and doesn't realize it.

    The bottom line is this: I know that I need to call it quits. No question. I've managed to dodge a bullet, nay, an atomic warhead. I'm clean, have some absurd stories, and have lost nothing of note other than the year or so that she's no doubt shaved off of my life.

    As with most people, she's a mix. She's not 100% a filthy whore, and she's certainly not innocent. She's complex. Through this and my ridiculous Tinder days, I've realized that I'm ultimately a relationship guy. I just don't have the energy for all this chaos.

    Both of my parents were severe alcoholics. When you're around chaotic people, the world warps to their reality. Craziness seems normal. I've seen this with her as well. If any of my friends told me they were going through this, I'd slap them, tell them to wake up, count their blessings, and snap back to reality. Go apple picking, meet a reasonable woman if you want, and seek meaning over fleeting passion and impulses.

    But that ass, tho. Epic.

    • Just don't get too emotionally involved and don't get her preggy.ok_not_ok
    • Poontang Trap 101utopian
    • PICSbabydick
    • ^yes. pic or gtfo!pango
    • One of the amazing things about this story so far is that it's been going on for a year! I figured it was a couple of months. She's a sack of trauma.CyBrainX
  • mort_3

    How the folk did you certify yourself @catpower?


    • With a little patience this was possible back in the day. Another QBN oversight.palimpsest
    • catpower is Jason Kristofermort_
    • What are other QBN oversights?drgs
    • What happens in the deep web stays in the deep web.palimpsest
    • catpower is a script writer who's taking a fictitious script for a spin through QBN to see if it's worth pitching to NetflixKrassy
    • I thought itw as HBO that did the porny stuff?Nairn
    • catpower keeps mentioning PG-13, soKrassy
    • I swear I'm not making this shit up, and I'm certainly not a scriptwriter. Promise.catpower
    • we believe you https://i.giphy.com/…Krassy
    • You didn't answer the question @catpower but I do believe your dilemmaIanbolton
    • Are you actually Kanye West?zarkonite