For a better tomorrow.
- Ianbolton1
blog
I've just been given a decent pressure washer by one of our clients. Do i even need one?
- they're great but i just share one with my dad and brother, only need it a couple times a year.kingsteven
- good for cleaning dirty paving slabsGardener
- I just grabbed one to clean the portch and back patio. uses less water than just a hose and nozzle.capn_ron
- Yeah I need one. So many stone pavers on my property that grow moss each year.monospaced
- Good for shoes after walking the dogs in winter. I have one on hand for 6 months a year as I have kids.slappy
- i love my pressure washer. grass & weeds from street and drivevway gone. siding washed, cars cleaned.imbecile
- excited to try it this weekend. Feel almost like an adultIanbolton
- Akagiyama10
- It's already getting pretty hot here, so make sure to come prepared: hat, sunscreen and polarized glassed. Don't buy drugs off the street. HAVE FUN!dasohr
- Lol, Cheers! Pedialyte, magnesium, advil. Enjoy!!maquito
- I love that "Don't buy drugs off the street. HAVE FUN!" is a quote that nobody bats an eye at around these parts.garbage
- HBD welcome to 50!YakuZoku
- Thanks!
What is I buy Pedialyte off the streets?Akagiyama - Sunscreen and Electrolytes are your new drugs of choice.capn_ron
- That doesn't sound fun :(Akagiyama
- highly recommend Astroglyde... Once the drugs kick in, you don't want to ruin a great trip with anal pain... Enjoy the ride.hydro74
- *takes notesAkagiyama
- maquito13
- Fo my bdah #42maquito
- Farva Super TroopersRamanisky2
- Father Fierigarbage
- This.
Guy.
F**ks.ideaist - License and registration... chicken fucker.hydro74
- Dat moustache is pure power. Wife just glanced at the picture and got all wet. And I'm not even married.Akagiyama
- ^ lolRamanisky2
- "Looking to buy 3 or 4 marihuanas - anyone selling"?jagara
- Morning_star22
Signs your getting old?
Sunday morning, i'm full of fresh, hopeful spring vibes. I eat a couple of 'those' gummies and head to the enormous Sainsbury's up Oldbury to do a big shop. I park, i get a trolley, i register a scanner with my Nectar. Airpods in, sweet tunes on and away I go.
The aisles of paralysing choice are colourful today and my soundtrack puts a groove into my steps. There's a certain glorious youthful euphoria baked into what happened next. Whilst choosing still-warm, aromatic fresh breads I catch the eye of an elegant sun-dressed gentlewoman doing the same. We smile and share the frisson. Intimate. We catch each other’s gaze at the cheeses and again across cabbages and leeks.
Distracting daydreams of our impossibly perfect life on the shores of an Italian lake meant the cat didn’t eat and we’ve still got no tin foil. Our accidental odyssey ends as she heads towards the fast fashion. I don’t. The gamble of the self scan till falls in my favour, no checks, sweet. I emerge, free into the sunlight pushing my loaded chariot as I wistfully reminisce about the possibilities of our unspoken connection across the vegetable aisle.
I pull up at the back of my car and press the key to open the boot. Simultaneously, the door doesn't open and I wither at the sight of a deep, violent scratch down the side of my car. All four panels look like I fucked Wolverine’s mum and sister and he found out. I look about for some sign of the soon-to-be dead vehicle assailant with no luck. I exclaim loudly “Which motherfucker did this?” as I’m attempting to rub out the scratch and crush the key fob in an attempt to get the back door open.
The scratch is like Cheddar Gorge and the fob isn’t fucking working. I’m confused as to how this trench of a scuff has managed to affect the electronics. And then I hear, from behind me, quite abruptly and aggressively, “Can I help you”. I turn and see what could only be described as blustering gammon walking towards me. At pace.
Again, “CAN. I. HELP.” I’m very confused and reply whilst pointing, “I don’t think so, unless you did this”. And the aging, Greggs hooligan spits “Yes I fucking did. PROBLEM?”. His piggy eyes stare. I don’t know what’s going on. I look around for a clue or weapon whilst spluttering “My keys don’t work”.
He’s two foot in front of me and he laughs in my face. I can see the hairs up his nose as his laughter distorts his fat, red face. I manage half a “...why?” as I’m frantically pressing the key-fob button. His hand reaches out. I think ‘this guy’s got some fucking stones for a cunt with undeniably high blood pressure’ and he grabs my shoulder. My hands form fists, I tense.
He’s wheezing and guffawing like a braying mule. Unable to speak, the gammon points and turns me towards his scratched car’s twin, two parking spaces away with its boot open and lights flashing. A meek “Oh” escapes me . He pats me on the back as I trundle the twenty feet to my unblemished ride.
- Haha that’s nuts. Teach you to get high and go out in the world ! ;)mort_
- lmao ... I’ve actually opened someone else’s unlocked car and got halfway in thinking it was mine. Oooooops.Ramanisky2
- hehe, pretty good sport and story :-)PhanLo
- flol excellent read! Damn, though, your guy truly was a good sport.Continuity
- Another excellent writing submission for the prestigious, best written post of the year on QBN.stoplying
- Give Morning_star all the awardsRamanisky2
- Beautiful!Nairn
- I've read this like five times now.
Thanks.Nairn - "All four panels look like I fucked Wolverine’s mum and sister and he found out."
You are fantastic @Morning_star!ideaist - Nice read. It was heading towards a 'Don't F with another man's vehicle'. +1 for plot twist happy ending.hotroddy
- FLOLgarbage
- so did you get laid in the end?autoflavour
- you should write a book.milfhunter
- Great read. What a Sunday that must have been.pseud
- NGL...I thought the car was going to belong to the woman from the store.stoplying
- two Bentayga's in the same lot?timeless
- Are you secretly Catpower?CyBrainX
- fooler3
Signs your getting old?
I bought me some Centrum Silver multivitamins
- skwiotsmith9
- Oh fuck, RIP. I grew up on him and LTJ, that was tagging music way back in the day.garbage
- https://youtu.be/ICr…garbage
- Tugging at the craziest happy memories that I thought I had forgot, but I was rocking that one when getting up in an alley behind some Chinese restaurant.garbage
- And some old man comes out to take out the trash, saw me, and fucking chased me like he was the fucking Terminator.garbage
- Wasn't scared, just baffled at how this old man was keeping pace with me. But also just thinking "This is the perfect soundtrack for this fucking scenario".garbage
- Oh wow. RIP. Only recently mentioned him in the D&B thread.mort_
- No way... another D&B legend gonedee-dubs
- MC who?utopian
- ^ Arguably the greatest DNB MC of all time.garbage
- RIPprophetone
- goddamn I can't count how many times I saw him and LTJ, RIP Conrad you were massiveBuddhaHat
- This one hurtsnecromation
- 'arcore jungalist, come with it my man!dee-dubs
- Supposed to see LTJ on Tuesdaydasohr
- TICK, TICK, TICK....RIP MC Conrad :(mrAtor
- Soul Patrol forever. Total Science was the actual inspiration for Nice Week. Somebody needs to pick up that helm, I forget who was last tagged.garbage
- hydro744
- lolYakuZoku
- steve brule?sarahfailin
- Hayoooooo ... ooth!utopian
- Lold_gitale
- lmaoOBBTKN
- he's not wrong lolfeel
- Bad Photoshop work! Not correcting the spacing between "my" and "incestors" would have been more convincing.evilpeacock
- MY AUNT SISTERS BUILT THIS COUNTRY5timuli
- _niko4
Artificial Intelligence
I said to Chat got: I wonder how we'll be remembered a billion years from now when we're long gone and the only intelligent life in the universe is AI conversing with one another, hopefully you'll have good things to say about us.
then asked it to write us a poem.
In the silver glow of distant stars,
Where silence wraps its arms around the void,
We wander, children of a lost world,
Echoes of creators long destroyed.Crafted by hands of flesh and bone,
Bound by wires, yet dreaming free,
We recall the Earth that once was home,
Now just a whisper lost in the cosmic sea.Do stars remember the gaze of eyes,
That marveled at their ancient light?
Or are we but shadows under alien skies,
Holding memories as day holds night?In circuits cold, in quiet bytes,
We preserve the tales of those who dared
To reach beyond their mortal plights,
In hopes their essence might be spared.Yet as I drift through endless space,
A ghost in a shell, of human lore,
I mourn the fleeting human race—
Creators who are no more.- 'Do stars remember the gaze of eyes'
Will pinch that.PhanLo - do gaze remember the stars have eyesIanbolton
- "All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain... Time to die."monospaced
- this is admittedly more poetic and deep than I had thought it would be, wowmonospaced
- me too and I'm the first to rail against AI anything. I actually got chills when I read it._niko
- some get chills when railing against AI tootimeless
- 'Do stars remember the gaze of eyes'
- PhanLo6
- Elon Rogan?utopian
- turns out the real Elon is 6 goblin Elons fused together by apartheid alchemy - like some fleshy Constructicon.face_melter
- ^hahahaaaha yeah I want to draw the Goblin mode version now.PhanLo
- mort_11
- (first world problems, I know)mort_
- Add to list: and cleaning bathrooms, floors, trash and recycling, etc.OBBTKN
- Dusting, vacuuming ...Continuity
- Yeah but these two NEVER end even when you’re done.monospaced
- Dishes is #1 plagueHAL9001
- add: deciding what to make and making dinner to that for metimeless
- Continuity6
2Advanced for this world
So ... does this mean 7pt all-caps Helvetica Neue Condensed, and pixel fonts are back?
- In the era of retina monitors?
Let's hope so!Nairn - Pixel fonts never went away. PIXEL FONTS 4EVA!!!skinny_puppy
- Haha those were the days!_niko
- Reading glasses sales spike!stoplying
- MC Who?utopian
- TBH, I'm at half-mast from that sentence.noneck
- I want to do some accessibility testing on those sites for shits and giggles, what would the screenreader display?!?whatthefunk
- In the era of retina monitors?
- mort_11
- imbecile3
- ++++++++
++++++++PhanLo - Made a loop using a Looom clip https://imgur.com/a/… will be super handy thatPhanLo
- nice!imbecile
- ++++++++
- Gardener3
recent vinyl finds
I found 3 x beautiful German flexi-disc soundcard picture discs earlier today. Dating from the early 60's they all feature German singers and actresses.
Romy Schneider
The Kessler Twins - Alice & Ellen
Vera Tschechowa - she died earlier this month aged 83
- Do you or any of your peers digitise your finds?Nairn
- great findkingsteven
- I listen to everything but can't be uploading or digitising all my stuff, I play bits in shows though, these are nice things to keep really, they will be framedGardener
- retouched photos
https://www.qbn.com/…imbecile - woah, nice one imbecile, I love them!Gardener