tinder?
Out of context: Reply #56
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- orrinward20
I've been coming to some cowboy conclusions lately after speaking to friends of all types using Tinder, "conventional" dating sites like Match.com and in-real-life, and at least from my small pool of friends' experiences and my own wild spin on it, I think Tinder is more efficient at finding a good partner for most people than in-person spontaneous dating attempts or the more meticulous online-profile skimming and matching.
I have several friends that have started relationships and kept them going for more than a few months now through Tinder.
My theory is that with Tinder, it shatters the confidence barrier of approaching someone, and also doesn't give you enough opportunities to turn someone down based on an interest. It gets you talking faster.
Match.com/OK Cupid, other profile-heavy sites - It takes ages to get yourself a decent profile and people often judge by that first picture anyway. Those that don't judge purely based on that first photo then spend time reading through lots of info about you, before starting to talk. I've seen people going through OKC profiles like it was a CV for a new CEO. "Oh, she likes Miley Cyrus - NOPE!", "She mentions liking football, tomboy, NO!". When on OKC a lot of people end of looking for one excuse to not pursue someone, rather than the many reasons they should. Tinder gives less opportunity for your brain to make you hesitate and gets you talking immediately, and in a more raw and natural way.
In-person "Hi how are ya" - I know very few people that have the confidence, when in a normal state, to approach anyone they find interesting. Those that have that confidence also use Tinder. If you insist on "meeting someone online is weird", perhaps consider that relying on getting smashed so you can muster the confidence to approach a girl and say "Hey, that's a really interesting jacket you have, I'm ..." is also kind of fucking weird. Tinder eliminates the confidence issue.
Tinder - Whether in-person or on OKC, most people will make a big judgement of someone based on appearance. Tinder makes that simple and effective. It doesn't give you a huge amount of info for you negatively judge an opportunity, other than personality from the first messages you exchange. Friends that are in relationships because of Tinder have all have a few things in common - they didn't actually talk much on Tinder, they just went into "Hey lets meet at XXX tonight". Once the ice is broken, the in-person stuff gets easier and more natural. The other thing they had in common is that they met with a lot of people, and a lot of them they didn't hit it off with, and they all see the bad dates as no-big-deal situations.
I think if you're critical of Tinder for being shallow etc then you're probably not that good at dating or meeting people generally. Anyone I know who is sociable and single, or flexible, has been enjoying Tinder an awful lot.