religion

Out of context: Reply #388

  • Started
  • Last post
  • 3,193 Responses
  • ukit20

    Condensed version of Christianity:

    -God creates the universe
    -God creates Adam and Eve
    -God creates an apple they are not supposed to eat
    -Eve eats the apple anyway
    -Humans are now fucked for the rest of time
    -Several thousand years later, God comes to visit earth in the form of Jesus. Humans brutally murder him.
    -More time passes. Slavery, war, and the Holocaust happen, however God is still pissed about the apple
    -God destroys the universe
    -The end

    • Long slow fade to black
      Roll credits
      ukit2
    • It makes more sense when you understand that it's all about relationships, not the apple.breadlegz
    • Not really that complicated is it? It's about obedience to God.ukit2
    • You forgot all the hats people have to wear like the popes and cardinals.freedom
    • Where's the part about not eating on certain days and hating gays?freedom
    • Nowhere in the Bible does it say Apple. Or the Universe.monospaced
    • but it does talk about snakes..

      that talk
      moldero
    • when god created the universe, the world was flat and it was only 5000 years agomonospaced
    • Wow, you're right monospaced. It could have been an orange.ukit2

View thread