Video Games...
Out of context: Reply #3024
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- face_melter6
So, yesterday, in a fit of boredom and in a desperate struggle with the league against tedium and Photoshopping average architecture into the Stockholm cityscape, I bought Horizon Zero Crusty. Because if I click a few buttons on a site and remotely download shit to my PS4, it doesn't count. Right?
First thing. The game looks great, not like Taylor Swift's legs great, but solid and polished - we're talking Katy Perry legs. Not the doughy, lumpy legs she has today, legs from a couple of years ago. Dependable legs. Guerrilla always do good visuals, no matter what else. They are the Katy Perry legs of videogames.
Anyway. Second thing. The introduction is the one of the most contrived and unnecessary piece of hand-holding videogame schlock of recent times. Made me instantly dislike the whole wretched scene - Noble Tribespeople who talk eloquently about The Past, The Outcast, The Mysterious Child who everyone thinks is some kind of fucking demon. Wait. This has to be said before I forget and fuck all this up - character design. Every rat-bastard in this looks like they are either in a Spiral Tribe travelling rave collective, play bass in Mega City Four, or that one guy at art college who introduced me to weapons-grade tequila and Charles Bukowski. Fucking facial hair and dreadlocks for days. Horizon Crusty Dawn, geddit? GEDDIT!? Christ, you fucking people. Right. Intro. Focus. Maintain. You start as the kid as... a kid and learn your hunting chops from your adopted dad blah blah blah. What takes 30 minutes could have been laid out in a 60 second cutscene and a refined tutorial. But oooh no. Exposition explosion!
Onward. It appears The World is fucked by mechanical animals - even at this early point in the proceedings my desire to uncover who or what their deal is is desperately low. But. BUT. The encounters are well handled and there is lots to do - even before I reluctantly push on with the story I have had four or five side missions. Ok, they all ended up with me wrecking robot animal ass and collecting something/someone - including some woman's brother who on investigation has extreme schizophrenia leading to homicidal and suicidal tendencies (which, according to the story can be cured with talking and living in a cave). Videogames! There's a bunch of crafting shit in there also - collect shit to make shit. After a couple of hours I had a bag full of rubbish and plants. Some of it looks important? Who knows. Robot Animal Jesus will bring sense to it all. Or maybe i'm some kind of mental hobo with a robot kink.
Oh. Fuck, hold on. The combat is really good! A nice quickness to the controls and enough leniency to allow you decent shots even if you're not dead-on accurate. Pounding robot animal ass with homemade shafts is invigorating and satisfying. Who knew?
So far, so okay in a weird Tomb Raider / Far Cry / Zelda / GTA-type way. I mean, you walk around, collect and kill shit. It's not art and neither is it rocket animal science. Nier: Automata continues to give me incredible thrills and kicks so whether I ride this crazy techno-Levellers simulator all the way to the end, I don't know.
But hey, life can't all be Taylor Swift's legs.
- http://www.ign.com/a…SteveJobs
- quite the change from doing killzone for a decade right? I'm really enjoying the game, looks incredible too.ernexbcn
- I think my references to anarco-hippy techno sound systems and power-pop indie guitar bands wouldn't fit with IGN's key demographic.face_melter
- But I enjoy writing these at 6am after four hours sleep.face_melter
- ^^ I find their visual style quite sterile. Technically impressive, no doubt, but it lacks personality. Faces look like Boglins.face_melter
- Brilliant. This has made me go and buy it a day earlier than I originally planned.MrT
- Boglin faced post-apocalyptic ravers with lightning spears and dennis-the-menace slings.ArchitectofFate
- Think I'll write another screed for Nier: Automata. I swear to God - that game is pure, fucking, art.face_melter