Where you at?
Out of context: Reply #88
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- nylon3
Graduated university in 1998 and was told by lecturers that you are a shit designer if you don't get a job in London.
Moved to London knowing I was a decent designer and simply could not get a job. After about 60 interviews, a husband and wife company gave me a chance. I LOVED it for like two years before I left.
Worked for other companies - one in particular who bullied and overworked me so I left and set up my own thing in 2005.
Have been blagging it to this very day. I know I am a good designer but stuff has changed so much - I feel very much out my depth and not even sure what to call myself title wise or if I'm actually any good. Sure, sometimes it makes decent money but the people I work for are fucking depressing and value nothing.
My work has enabled me to travel all over the world and helped me to move full-time to NYC in 2011. I literally sold everything I own (soul destroying) and rocked up at JFK with 3 bags.
Everything I have in this city has been due to putting myself out there, making real friends and generally trying my best to be a good person. I literally just got my green card this week so I feel I could go out and do something else if I wanted to.
I think I suffer from depression. Some days I feel worthless and what exactly is the point. I wish I had the balls to go and do something else but I don't think Im any good at anything else.
I get excited about things very easily but I also get deflated very easily too. I LOVE making things with my hands - partly because people value it if that makes sense?
I have recently started freelancing in NYC via agencies - the work is easy but the pay is shit because the agencies take a huge cut.
I will say the depression has gone away since I have been 'busy' - I think it makes me take my mind off things. For that reason, I am toying with going full time but I would have to tell all my business contacts and aqaintences. I believe my network in a certain sector could actually help me as they may stick their neck out for me but I find opening up very, very scary.
Work aside, I got married last year, have a baby on the way and we are looking to buy an apartment in NYC (wild). My family makes me very happy and am excited about becoming a dad.
If nothing else, the baby makes me want to knock it out the park and be the best dad ever...
Hopefully I won't be in the design world forever. Sad but true... Still can't put my finger on how something I love and am passionate about has been ripped out of me and is now just a way to earn money :(
- Have def felt this way, and this thread proves we're not alone. We should grab a beer sometime (or coffee if that's your jam).bulletfactory
- Congrats man, you won't get tired of being a good Dad. Its quite the opposite of working, although it will probably push you to the limit sometimes.slappy