Proud dads...

Out of context: Reply #495

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  • tank021

    So my oldest (3,5) has been diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Syndrome. So that is some rough news. Looking for some advice or bad jokes.

    I've always seen myself as borderline on the spectrum because I never fit in. Luckily he is of 'normal' IQ, but seeing him struggle is hard.

    I would give my right arm to fix it, but I guess that is some of the hardships of being a parent.

    • accept that he is imperfect, no matter how much it interferes with your pride.
      don’t solve all his problems, help him finding the ways to solve difficult ones
    • Don't get me wrong, I'm very proud of him. I don't mind most of the time. But a therapy session with his therapist and its hard for him, he understands his pathtank02
    • is different.tank02
    • I lived up close enough to know what it is like when these things aren't taken seriously enough and one parent fails to accept and the other gives up everythingsted
    • to maintain the life of that one kid free from disadvantages and failures.sted
    • that is rough sted, my wife and I are on the some track though. He is also being choached a lot, and has his safe spaces at school. Plus he very curious andtank02
    • and socal, and its up us to feed this. Being a freelancers its a blessing to arrange my work schedule around this hours.tank02
    • My mother used to say that it's like having a 4th kid.Think about the long ass hours you're going to spend teaching him basic math, getting him memorizing poemssted
    • While to docs saying the your kid is sitting next to the lucky ones in this diagnosis spectrum.sted
    • Thanks these days this isn't such a shame that you can't tell the teachers, you can get a lot of help, and I don’t think the paths you can take aren't thatsted
    • as hopeless as it was decades ago.sted
    • At age 3 1/2, what kind of signs does he show that made you look into it? My son is almost 4.monospaced
    • Hey mono, well that is the tricky thing, it goes from avoiding the playground, to detail to spec. things, a linguistic problem, rocking motion.....tank02
    • .... but it's a spectrum. there are so many moments he is.a 'normal' kid, but due to stress, those elements come out, its now finding a system to avoid ittank02
    • but like sted says. School actually noticed it second. I already had some ideas. Now the team of pyschs, school help, etc.... the system is good.tank02
    • society is more open to this now. I had ADHD when I was kid, so i threw in to the school trash, Repeating 3 years, 'unhandelable' etc... now its diff.tank02
    • mail me for more info if you want; i also want to help others.tank02
    • Fascinating. You sound like you are geared up to take this on, good attitude. They’re lucky to have a man like you.monospaced
    • Don't think of it as an imperfection or a flaw. Autism is nothing to be ashamed of. Yes, a lot of people on the autism spectrum have struggles that may go alongslinky
    • with their autism but it is not their autism causing it. My son is almost 11 and is high function autistic, had adhd, ocd, tourettes & severe anxiety strugglesslinky
    • My son is also profoundly gifted and has special abilities that come along with his autism (near perfect photographic memory, taught himself how to read/writeslinky
    • My son is also profoundly gifted and has special abilities that come along with his autism (near perfect photographic memory, taught himself how to read/writeslinky
    • when he was about 2 years old.slinky
    • above all, his anxiety is the biggest struggle for him. its tough when he says things like he "doesn't want to exist" & is always beating himself up for thingsslinky
    • tank02, if you ever need advice on anything, feel free to ask. we've seen everything!slinky
    • Hey Slinky. I don't see it as a imperfection. I just don't want him to struggle. I would be nice to exchange stories. My e-mail is bart@coffeeklatch.betank02

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