RIP of the day
Out of context: Reply #1357
- Started
- Last post
- 1,914 Responses
- formed12
A few weeks late, but these other posts are making me feel like I need to write things down.
A girl I dated for a bit a few years ago died a few months back. She was a model and reached out in December to see if I wanted to shoot again. We had shot numerous times and had great creative chemistry. I said 'sure' and never heard back.
She was a little unstable and I ended things after a scary incident, but she was a sweet woman, super smart (she just finished her clinical pharmacy degree), and crazy ambitious with her modeling (she traveled the world continually via paid shoots).She had been a heroin addict a decade or so ago, but was clean. I guess she injured herself and was taking pain meds. I'll never know if she od'd, was on heroin again or took her own life (her parents were not nice people).
Her funeral was sad, needless to say. I still have the paintings we made in my garage and red boots she brought over for a shoot once.
2 years ago my best friend took his life. He was a recovering alcoholic (alcohol ruined his marriage and carrier, I never knew he was until he got divorced and quit) and was impressively successful in quitting.
We would go for walks for a few hours a week, talking about life (insanely smart man, too smart, I think). He tried everything - numerous psychologists, anti-depressants, dbt/cbt, etc., etc. He taught me so much.
We walked every street around my place countless times. Every time I go for a run or walk, I can remember a detail of one of our conversations. It's both terribly sad and yet still makes me smile a little.
He called me on a Friday and left a message, but I was at my gf's for the weekend. I texted back but heard nothing. Texted back again on Sunday, nothing, again on Monday, nothing. I was worried.
Tuesday, I think, I got a call from his sister and I knew right away. I'll always wonder if I had been able to answer that call if it would have made any difference. I'd like to think it would have, but my logical side says otherwise.
He left a note on his mtn bike that was in my garage. I didn't find it for 6 months. It was the only note he left, just saying he'd like his daughter to have his nicest bike and hoped my life would be wonderful.
I knew him since we were 14. I was sure we'd grow old together, and share the stories from our crazy high school years and challenges with life in general.
They say suicide happens far more often than people realize. I guess that's true.
I am grateful for spending so much time with him in his last 2 years. I am grateful to have known a good man and a great friend for so long.
Hug your friends, tell them how much you love them, and don't just assume everyone knows. Feelings should be cherished and shared. Enjoy every moment, regardless of how seemingly trivial it might appear, they all matter.
- Love you guysYakuZoku
- +1 for very personal post. if he was that committed you wouldn't have been able to save his life. The best you could have done was postpone it.hotroddy
- I'm hooked on the show INTERVENTION. Only 20% of them make it out. Some episodes end with a suicide in the post follow-up update.hotroddy
- Thanks for sharing, that must have been hard to write, but hopefully at the same time provides some catharsis. I love the QBN community, warts and all.BuddhaHat
- That's so tough. All the best for you.SimonFFM
- That last para formed. Xox. just be there and be and enjoy the now. Sounds like their life was better for having you in it.thumb_screws
- My heart goes out to you formed! Losses like that are very difficult and painful. I'm really sorry, friend! Remembering people is their tribute.boobs
- Moving story. Hope you are all out there in the QBNverse...shapesalad
- Thanks, everyone. I love this place! Hopefully, I'll get to grow old(er) here. 22+ years and counting...formed
- That must have been a very hard post to write. Thanks for the reminder of how valuable our time is here.Chimp
- ❤utopian
- so sorry dude.exador1
- That was the most tragic thing I've read in ages. I'm so sorry.CyBrainX