Punches For:
Out of context: Reply #3071
- Started
- Last post
- 3,174 Responses
- jagara11
Hard, well-trained MMA-champion punches for this:
● I exit my apartment using the back door.
● I walk down the stairs. Uh oh. There is a strong smell.
● On the landing between two floors, there is a fresh-looking puddle of diarrhea. I'd say 15inches / 40cm in circumference. Some bits of corn in there (really). It's been dripping down the first stair too. I assume it's dog diarrhea, as it's not a neighborhood where homeless people frequent our locked back entrance.
● I decide to find the culprit, meaning the owner. The dog is innocent.
● I live on the top floor, with 4 apartments. I assume no one walks UP THE STAIRS WITH THEIR DOG, leaving a puddle of shit, and then back down. It must be a top floor resident. I don't have a dog, neither does my neighbor. Behind entrance number 3 there is a young woman, who I assume wouldn't have a big dog capable of producing shit puddles this size. I deduce it's door number 4, because I'm totally Sherlock Holmes.
● I go down to the front entrance, call the apartments intercom. Some dude answers.
Me: (sounding cheerful) "Hi! Do you have a dog?"
Him: (awkward pause) "Uh, Yes?"
Me: "Did your dog shit all over the back stairs?"
Him: (awkward pause) "Uhhhhh... no. But, um, I can go remove it, if you want me to."
Me: (sounding cheerful) "Aw, you'd do that? That'd be nice!"● I love that he denies it, and "offers" to clean it up anyway.
● Fucking douchebag asshole. He did clean the stairs, though.
- Win of the day post.Wordsworth
- punches pulled for the clean up?hans_glib
- Just one punch, then.jagara
- Are you sure it wasn't the dogs owner?Akagiyama
- that sounds like a perfectly reasonable British conversation.maikel
- The sun never shits on the British Empire.CyBrainX
- @maikel hehe - Copenhagen, Denmark. Maybe we Danes are similarly conflict averse. I actually tried fucking with him with the cheerful tone :)jagara
- i enjoyed this postHAL9001
- post of the day indeedmaquito
- Use of bullets is on purposemisterhow
- Perhaps he wasn’t lying. Dogs do not usually eat corn.monNom
- The dog:
https://i1.sndcdn.co…sted - Now you have a buddy in the house who cleans up dogshit, I would ask first if this was the first time, or it is a habit of his.sted
- Whatever the answer, the conversation should end with you making sure he understands thatnext time there is dogshit in or around the house you know who to call.sted
- Just to make sure shit on the stairs tomorrow. If he still cleans it up it wasn't his dog.palimpsest