summer list
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- grunttt
as some of you may know my wife is a school teacher. well today is her last day, tomorrow begins summer break. i'm making her a "honey do" list. I'll be printing it out, making a long scroll that will wrap around a bunch of flowers accompanied by champagne while playing "god damn right it's a beautiul day" by the Eels.
this is what i have so far:
Honey-Do Listpaint trim in dining room
paint primer on foundation
wait for primer to dry
paint foundation
laundry
pluck husband’s eyebrows
shave legs
eradicate poison ivy
read a book for fun
eradiate dandelions
trap and kill ferrel cats
kill and/or displace moles
plant stuff
sleep in
drink mixed drinks
mow lawn
make mailbox stand up straight
de-humidify basement
fix gutters
replace roofing over basement stairs
make grass grow
tear down carport
mow driveway
cover driveway with gravel
arm-or-all wheels on grill
buy husband home brew kit
order storm-windows
install storm-windows
hire someone to reinstall stormwindows
install interior lighting
dust basement
re-re-caulk shower door
force cats to like cat shelf
ice down beer every day at 4:00
rub sweet-honey-baby
record tv items of interest for husband
sweep
clean out refrigerator
make lemondade
marinate meats
weed
stay up late
clean trees
arm-or-all driveway gravel
vacuum yard (front and back)
train boo boo to make less stinky stinkys
cut dead limbs off of oak
shine road along property line
make path to parkway from our yard
cut down tree beside basement stairs
win lottery
dye biscuit’s white spots so she feels pretty
organize office
paint livingroom
paint bedroom
paint guest bedroom
paint trim in livingroom
paint trim in bedroom
paint trim in guestroom
paint office
clean windows
go on vacation (with me)
go to sister’s graduation
go to workshop
drink white wine
drink red wine
insist on grilling
invite friends over
mop something
read email
refinance student loans
have coffee
plant holly trees
snack
drink beer
go to brew-n-view
remove carport debris
re-re-re caulk shower door
go hiking
go downtown every chance you get
eat lunch with husband
keep filo in business
drink international coffees
go to santa fe
come back from santa fe
curse the president
take a nap
chill on the porch
go braless
steal eli the begal for your husband
make prank calls to other members of pod
figure out paper towel dispenser (out or in?)
go to gallery openings
go on studio stroll
buy/cut/place railroad ties
drink from the hose
fuck the shower door - buy shower curtain
go camping
take a break
eat lobster and drink champagne
learn the lyrics to a hard-to-know song
drive safely
honk the horn
make a new friend
throw a party
bojangles
go to home depot... again
laugh out loud
go to the tailgate markets
clean top of fridge
clean behind fridge
clean under fridge
clean stove
watch tv
rock out
give boo boo his lovin’
eat waffles
pick blueberries
call old friends
watch re-runs
watch oprah
write a letter
send cards
plant a seed
eat a peach
layout
wear sunscreen
bum out
take it all in
stop and smell the roses
put something off until tomorrow
bake a pie
drink green tea
do something for the helluvit
be creative
change your mind
do more than you expected
don’t feel guilty
indulge yourself
learn 2 new jokes (1 dirty, 1 clean)
feel the sun on your face
don’t know what time it is
forget what day it is
learn something new about yourself
learn something new about someone else
channel surf
say “fuck it”
ruin your appetite
buy something
play music too loud at 9am
- bradpitt0
I don't see "Laundry" on that list. Someone has to do the damn laundry damn it!!
- Jaline0
I have 'laugh out loud' covered: blow-up and frame Grant's 'Oh No You Didn't' picture.
- GreedoLives0
wait you want her to do all that stuff? you must be suicidal.
- rasko40
give her this ready made contract:
- nooner0
was blow job and a steak on the list?
- grunttt0
greedo - she's married to me, trust me she has a sense of humor.
steak and bj? added. thanks.
=)
- grunttt0
bradpitt - laundry is the 5th one down man!
=)
- bradpitt0
Could she possibily send me pepsi every day?
- Tara0
yeah i was just going to say didn't see anything about sex on that list.
- nooner0
surprise me with a reach around?
- grunttt0
a few items were deleted for NT posting
;)
- bradpitt0
sneaky gruntt, you just changed the list didn't you. I know your kind.
- grunttt0
i'm adding to it as we speak
just added
reach around
kegal exercises
get henna tattoo that says "forever"
- nooner0
wear skimpy french maid outfit and clean house..... lots of bending over
- grunttt0
good one nooner
*copy and paste
- bradpitt0
High Priority!!
- pick rand up from the airport.
- GreedoLives0
join a darts league
lose 20 pounds and turn 10 years younger (that should be good for a punch in the eye)
bowl a 250
do 50 yard dash in under 10 secs
beat Super Mario Bros 3
be able to name at least 8 major beer brands blindfolded
operate a backyard still and produce at least two gallons of moonshine
learn how to juggle
be able to throw an axe with deadly accuracy at least 20 yards
obtain six disguises and surprise me
etc
- nooner0
greedo that was pro. well done.
- Tara0
hire hot nanny for menage a trois
- radar0
yeah I would add a line on there about being naked cleaning when you arrive home.