Pic of the Day
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- Akagiyama0
- i see the ca...jaylarson
- nice.
http://www.cf-cabo.c…sandbag - needs landscapingyurimon
- it doesn't need anything else but meernexbcn
- So you will be alone there.iCanHazQBN
- I will take 15 sluts to go with that house.iCanHazQBN
- JOSF0
- ********0
i guess grammar means these people aren't smart...but those nazi's seem hella dumb looking for 'their' people but they find more black people i mean aryans...lol
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"Julius, you little but you loud. Dat's a over averag lie you tole," Shug laughed. "Lak de wind Ah seen on de East Coast.' It blowed a crooked road straight and blowed a well up out ground and blowed and blowed until it scattered de days of de week so bad till Sunday didn't come till late Tuesday evenin'. "Shug, Whuss yuh gonna do?" Bennie Lee tried to rise to the surface but failed and slumped back into slumber. "A good boy, but a po' boy," somebody commented as,John French made his mind up. "Zora, Ah'm gointer tell one, but you be sho and tell de folks Ah tole it. Don't say Seymore said it because he took you on de all day fishin' trip to Titusville. Don't say Seaboard Hamilton tole it 'cause he always give you a big hunk of arbecue when you go for a sandwich. Give ole John French whut's comin' to 'im." "You gointer tell it or you gointer spend de night tellin' us you gointer tell it?" I asked.
Ah got to say a piece of litery (literary) fust to git mah wind on.Well Ah went up on dat meatskin
And Ah come down on dat bone
And Ah grabbed dat piece of cornbread
And Ah made dat biscuit moan.
Once a man had two sons. One was name Jim and de, other one dey call him Jack for short. Dey papa was a most rich man, so he called de boys to 'im one night and tole 'em, "Ah don't want y'all settin' 'round waitin' for me tuh die tuh git whut Ah'm gointer give yuh. Here's five hundred dollars apiece. Dat's yo' sheer of de proppity. Go put yo'selves on de ladder. Take and make men out of yourselves."
Jim took his and bought a big farm and a pair of mules and settled down.
Jack took his money and went on down de road skinnin' and winnin'. He won from so many mens till he had threbbled his money. Den he met a man says, "Come on, le's skin some." De man says "Money on de wood" and he laid down a hundred dollars.
Jack looked at de hurid'ud dollars and put down five hund'ud and says, "Man, Ah ain't for no spuddin'. You playin' wid yo' stuff out de winder. You fat 'round de heart. Bet some money.
De other man covered Jack's money and dey went to skinnin'. Jack was dealin' and he thought he seen de other man on de turn so he said, Five hund'ud mo' my ten spot is de bes'."
De man covered Jack's money and dey went skinnin'. Jack was dealin' and he though he seen de other man on de turn so he said, "Five hund'ud mo' my ten spot is de bes'."
De man covered 'im and Jack slapped down another five hund'ud and said, "Five hund'ud mo' you fall dis time."
De other man never said a word. He put down five hund'ud mo'.
Jack got to singin':
"When yo' card git-uh lucky, oh pardner you oughter be in a rollin I game."
He flipped de card and bless God it wuz de ten spot' Jack had done fell hisself instead of de other man. He was all put out.
Says, "Well, Ah done los' all mah money so de game is through."
De other man say, "We kin still play on. Ah'll bet you all de money on de table against yo' life."
Jack agreed to play 'Cause he figgered he could outshoot and outcut any man on de road and if de man tried to kill bim he'd git kilt hisself. So dey shuffled agin and Jack pulled a card and it fell third in hand.
Den de man got up and he was twelve foot tall and Jack was so skeered he didn't know whut to do. De man looked down on 'im and tole 'im says, "De Devil is mah'name and Ah live across de deep blue sea. Ah could kill you right now, but Ah'll give Yuh another chance. If you git to my house befo' de sun sets and rise agin Ah won't kill yuh, but if you don't Ah'll be compelled to take yo' life."
Den he vanished.
Jack went on down de road jus' a cryin' till he met uh ole man.
Says,"Whuss de matter, Jack?"
Says,
"Ah played skin wid de Devil for mah life and he winned and tole me if Ah ain't to his house by de time de sun sets and rise agin he's gointer take mah life, and he live way across de ocean."
De ole man says,"You sho is in a bad fix, Jack. Dere ain't but one thing dat kin cross de ocean in dat time."
,'Whut is dat?
"It's uh bald eagle. She come down to de edge of de ocean every mornin' and dip herself in de sea and pick off all de dead feathers. When she dip herself de third time and pick herself she rocks herself and spread her wings and mount de sky and go straight across de deep blue sea. And every time she holler, you give her piece uh dat yearlin' or she'll eat you.
"Now if you could be dere wid a yearlin' bull and when she git thru dippin' and pick herself and rock to mount de sky and jump straddle of her back wid dat bull yearlin' you could make it."
Jack wuz dere wid de yearlin' waitin' for dat eagle to come. He wuz watchin' her from behind, de bushes and seen her when she come out de water and picked off de dead feather and rocked to go on high.
He jumped on de eagle's back wid his yearlin and de eagle was out flyin' de sun. After while she turned her head from side to side and her blazin' eyes lit up first de north den de south and she hollered, "Ah?h?h, Ah, ah! One quarter cross de ocean! Don't see nothin' but blue water, uh!"
Jack was so skeered dat instead of him givin' de eagle uh quarter of de meat, he give her de whole bull. After while she say, "Ah?h?h, ah, ah! One half way cross de ocean! Don't see nothin' but blue water!"
Jack didn't have no mo' meat so he tore off one leg and give it to her. She swallowed dat and flew on. She hollered agin, "Ah,ha. Ah, ha! Mighty nigh cross de ocean' Don't see nothin' but blue water' uh"'
Jack tore off one arm and give it to her and she et dat and pretty soon she lit on land and Jack jumped off and de eagle flew on off to her nest.
Jack didn't know which way de Devil lived so he ast. "Dat first big white house 'round de bendin de road," dey tole 'im.
Jack walked to de Devil's house and knocked on de do'.
"Who's dat?"
"One of de Devil's friends. One widout uh arm and widout uh leg."
Devil tole his wife, says: "Look behind de do' and hand dat man uh arm and leg." She give Jack de arm and leg and Jack put 'em on.
Devil says, "See you got here in time for breakfas'. But Ah got uh job for yuh befo' you eat. Ah got uh hund'ud acres uh new ground ain't never had uh brush cut on it. Ah want you to go out dere and cut down, all de trees and brushes, grub up all de roots and pile 'em and bum 'em befo' dinner time. If you don't, Ah'Il hafta take yo' life."
Jus' 'bout dat time de Devil's chillen come out to look at Jack and he seen he had one real pretty daughter, but Jack wuz too worried to think 'bout no girls. So he took de tools and went on out to de wood lot and went to work.
By de time he chopped down one tree he wuz tired and he knowed it would take 'im ten years to dear dat ground right, so Jack set down and went to cryin'. 'Bout dat time de Devil's pretty daughter come wid his breakfas'. "Whuss de matter, Jack?"
"Yo papa done gimme uh job he know Ah can't git through wid, and he's gonna take mah life and Ah don't wanna die."
"Eat yo' breakfas'Jack, and put yo' head in mah lap and go to sleep."
Jack done lak she tole 'im and went to sleep and when he woke up every tree was down, every bush and de roots grubbed up and burnt. Look lak never had been a blade uh grass dere.
De Devil come out to see how Jack wuz makin' out and seen dat hundred acres deaned off so nice and said, "Uh, huh, Ah see youse uh wise man, 'most wise as me. Now Ah got another job for yuh. Ah got uh well, uh hundred feet deep and Ah want yuh to dip it dry. Ah mean dry, Ah want it so dry till Ah kin see dust from it and den Ah want you to bring me whut you find at de bottom."
Jack took de bucket and went to de well and went to work but he seen dat de water wuz comin' in faster dan he could draw it out. So he sat down and begin to cry.
De Devil's daughter come traipsin long wid Jack's dinner and seen Jack settin' down cryin'. "Whuss de matter, Jack? Don't cry lak dat lessen you wanta make me cry too."
Yo' pa done put me to doin' somethin' he know Ah can't never finish and if Ah don't git thru he is gonna take mah life.
"Eat yo' dinner, Jack and put yo' head in mah lap and go to sleep.
Jack done lak she tole 'im and when he woke up de well wuz so dry till red dust wuz boilin' out of it lak smoke. De girl handed 'im a ring and tole 'im "Give papa dis ring. Dat's whut he wanted. It's mama's ring and she lost it in de well de.other day."
When de Devil come to see whut Jack wuz doin', Jack give 'im de ring and de Devil looked and seen all dat dust pourin' out de well. He say, "Ah see youse uh very smart man. Almos' as wise as me. All right, Ah got just one mo' job for you and if you do dat Ah'Il spare yo' life and let you marry mah daughter to boot. You take dese two geeses and go up dat cocoanut palm tree and pick 'em, and bring me de geeses when you git 'em picked and bring me every feather dat come off 'em. If you lose one Ah'll have to take yo life."
Jack took de two geeses and clammed up de cocoanut palm tree and tried to pick dem geeses. But he was more'n uh hundred feet off de ground and every time he'd pull uh feather often one of dem birds, de wind would blow it away. So Jack began to cry agin. By dat time Beatrice Devil come up wid his supper. "Whuss de matter, Jack?"
"Yo' papa is bound tuh kill me. He know Ah can't pick no geeses up no palm tree, and save de ' feathers.
"Eat yo' supper Jack and lay down in mah lap."
When Jack woke up all both de geeses wuz picked and de girl had all de feathers even; she had done caught dem out de air dat got away from Jack. De Devil said, "Well, now you done everything Ah tole you, you kin have mah daughter. Y'all take dat ole house down de road apiece. Dat's where me and her ma got our start."
So Jack and de Devil's daughter got married and went to keepin' house.
Way in de night, Beatrice woke up and shook Jack.
"Jack! Jack! Wake up! Papa's comin' here to kill you. Git up and go to de barn. He got two horses dat kin jump a thousand miles at every jump. One is named Hallowedbethyname and de other, Thykingdomcome. Go hitch 'em to dat buck board and head em dis way and le's go."
Jack run to de barn and harnessed de hawses and headed towards de house where his wife wuz at. When he got to de do' she jumped in and hollered, "Le's go, Jack. Papa comin' after us!"
When de Devil got to de house to kill Jack and found out Jack wuz gone, he run to de barn to hitch up his fas' hawses. When he seen dat dey wuz gone, he hitched up is jumpin' bull dat could jump five hundred miles at every jump, and down de road, baby!
De Devil wuz drivin' dat bull! Wid every jump he'd holler, "Oh! Hallowedbethyname! Thykingdomcome!" And every time de hawses would hear 'im call 'em they'd fall to they knees and de bull would gain on 'em.
De girl say, "Jack, he's 'bout to ketch us! Git out and drag yo' feet backwards nine steps, throw some sand over yo' shoulders and le's go!"
Jack done dat and de hawses got up and off they went, but every time they hear they master's voice they'd stop till de girl told Jack to drag his foot three times nine times and he did it and they gained so fast on de Devil dat de hawses couldn't hear 'im no mo', and dey got away.
De Devil passed uh man and he say, "Is you seen uh man in uh buck board wid uh pretty girl wid coal black hair and red eyes behind two fas' hawses?"
De man said, "No, Ah speck dey done made it to de mountain and if dey gone to de mountain take 'em.
"Jack and his wife wuz right dere den listenin' to de Devil. When de daughter saw her pa comin' she turned herself and de hawses into goats and they wuz croppin' grass. Jack wuz so tough she couldn't turn him into nothin' so she saw a holler log and she tole 'im to go hide in it, which he did. De Devil looked all around and he seen dat log and his mind jus' tole 'im to go look in it and he went and picked de log up and said "Ah, ha! Ah gotcher!"
Jack wuz so skeered inside dat log he begin to call on de Lawd and he said, "0 Lawd, have mercy."
You know de Devil don't lak tuh hear de name uh de Lawd so he throwed down dat log and said, "Damn it! If Ah had of knowed dat God wuz in dat log I Ah a picked it up."
So he got back in and picked up de reins and hollered to de bull, "Turn, bull, turn! Turn dean round. Turn bull turn, turn dean round!"
De jumpin' bull turnt so fast till he fell and broke his own neck and throwed de Devil out on his head and kilt 'im. So dat's why dey say Jack beat de Devil.
- too long did not read
also not a picernexbcn - http://m.quickmeme.c…moldero
- for fucks sakes people stop oppressing him, he's just here to teach you, so learn, cuntsGeorgesII
- < did not read eitherernexbcn
- this is pic of the day, not de christian science theatre yo. yall jus got ah sonnnned god!prophetone
- Put your shit in the 'Passage of the Day" thread.ETM
- https://scontent-b-s…pango
- Shoeboxesemphor
- too long did not read
- Senz0
- scarabin0
"I loved when Bush came out and said; "We are losing the war against drugs." You know what that implies? There's a war being fought, and the people on drugs are winning it." - Hill Bicks
- GeorgesII0
- oh poor girl....pango
- she looks more swedish to me...********
- she would take hits from Mike Tyson with that jawbenfal99
- sometimes we need to focus on the essential : http://i.imgur.com/3…benfal99
- http://froidethumide…********
- Powderrrrrred
Tooooooooast
Giirrrrrrl!!!turnerworks - her thumb looks like a weineriCanHazQBN
- i_monk0
- mothafuckin' breadcrumbssine
- jis lord?cruddlebub
- jizzlordsarahfailin
- sine0
