I lol'd at this all day
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- 28 Responses
- mcLeod0
Fuck you retard wydont you shut up!
- jackieO0
Thanks Toki!!! That was some of the best creative writing I have read in my life. David Thorne is a genius. Or crazy. Or both. Either way that was superb. I have always wanted a tattoo but have not wanted a dolphin or anything, I know exactly what I want now: http://www.27bslash6.com/tattoo.… I think I have a crush on David as he is funny AND gorgeous!
- tOki0
This guy should seriously release a book if he hasn't already.. I'd totally buy it!
- tOki0
bump
- benfal990
classic
- BuddhaHat0
Disguised Monkey
If I had a monkey, I would borrow my mums sewing machine and make my monkey a little monkey suit. Then if anyone said "Thats not a real monkey, it's just a monkey suit, I can see the zipper", I could say "I bet you fifty dollars it is a real monkey" and when they said "that seems like a reasonable bet, you are on", my monkey would take off the monkey suit and they would have to pay me fifty dollars. I would buy drugs with the fifty dollars. For the monkey. So he wouldn't mind spending his life in a monkey suit.
Gambling Monkey
If I had a monkey, I would teach him to count cards like Dustin Hoffman in the movie Rainman and sneak my monkey into the casino. If anyone said "Hey a monkey, who's monkey is that?" I would say "It's not my monkey".
Singing Monkey
If I had a monkey, I would teach it to sing Kylie Minogue songs. Then if Kylie passed out on stage again I would be able to save the day by having my monkey finish the concert for her. The concert promotors would probably give me free tickets and promotional gifts. Kylie would be so thankful that she might send me an autographed photo and I could sell it on ebay for fifty dollars. I would buy drugs with the fifty dollars. Not for the monkey, for me.
- bolus0
I sent an email to a friend recently, asking several different questions, and he replied with the single answer "Yes, probably." It was obvious that he had either not bothered reading the email or could not be bothered answering my questions.The next day when he emailed me, I replied using a Mattel® Magic 8 Ball™ to generate the random answers.
The code on this page simulates the Magic 8 Ball toy, a registered trademark of Mattel® Inc.
Add a random commentFrom: Simon
Date: Wednesday 4 Feb 2009 9.38am
To: David Thorne
Subject: No SubjectHave you got a typeface called Garamond Semibold? I have the Garamond and bold and italic but not the semibold. I am doing a poster for Cathy and I reckon garamond would look good.
From: David Thorne
Date: Wednesday 4 Feb 2009 10.02am
To: Simon
Subject: Re: No SubjectAs I see it, yes.
From: Simon
Date: Wednesday 4 Feb 2009 10.43am
To: David Thorne
Subject: GaramondWhich one? Yes you have the typeface or that it would look good on a poster?
From: David Thorne
Date: Wednesday 4 Feb 2009 10.52am
To: Simon
Subject: Re: GaramondConcentrate and ask again.
From: Simon
Date: Wednesday 4 Feb 2009 11.14am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: GaramondWhat the fuck? I need the typeface Garamond. Have you got it or not?
From: David Thorne
Date: Wednesday 4 Feb 2009 11.18am
To: Simon
Subject: Re: Re: Re: GaramondYou may rely on it.
From: Simon
Date: Wednesday 4 Feb 2009 11.29am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: GaramondSend me the typeface dickhead.
From: Mark Pierce
Date: Wednesday 4 Feb 2009 2.08pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: HeyHey. Are you at work?
From: David Thorne
Date: Wednesday 4 Feb 2009 2.25pm
To: Mark Pierce
Subject: Re: HeySigns point to yes.
From: Mark Pierce
Date: Wednesday 4 Feb 2009 2.53pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: HeyWhat? Can you drop over on your way home from work and help me lift a piece of glass up onto a table? It is too heavy to lift.
From: David Thorne
Date: Wednesday 4 Feb 2009 3.22pm
To: Mark Pierce
Subject: Re: Re: Re: HeyMy sources say no.
From: Mark Pierce
Date: Wednesday 4 Feb 2009 3.49pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: HeyAre you serious? I tried lifting it a bit at a time and sliding books under it but I need heaps more books. Can you come for a quick drive now?
From: David Thorne
Date: Wednesday 4 Feb 2009 4.02pm
To: Mark Pierce
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: HeyAsk again later.
From: Mark Pierce
Date: Wednesday 4 Feb 2009 4.57pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: ?Are you going to help me on the way back from work or not?
From: David Thorne
Date: Wednesday 4 Feb 2009 5.16pm
To: Mark Pierce
Subject: Re: ?It is decidedly so.
From: Mark Pierce
Date: Wednesday 4 Feb 2009 5.24pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: ?Good. Fuck you are annoying sometimes.
From: Justine Murphy
Date: Wednesday 4 Feb 2009 8.14pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Tree frogs pptHi David, you forgot to send the attachment on your last email. Can you send it again please?
JustineFrom: David Thorne
Date: Wednesday 4 Feb 2009 8.51pm
To: Justine Murphy
Subject: Re: Tree frogs pptYou may rely on it.
From: Justine Murphy
Date: Wednesday 4 Feb 2009 9.15pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Tree frogs pptOk. Can you resend it to me then please?
From: David Thorne
Date: Wednesday 4 Feb 2009 9.26pm
To: Justine Murphy
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Tree frogs pptWithout a doubt.
From: Justine Murphy
Date: Wednesday 4 Feb 2009 9.44pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Tree frogs ppt???? Did you attach it?
From: David Thorne
Date: Wednesday 4 Feb 2009 9.51pm
To: Justine Murphy
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Tree frogs pptDon't count on it.
From: Justine Murphy
Date: Wednesday 4 Feb 2009 10.27pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: ?Are you fucking with me? Just attachment it ass hat.
From: Simon
Date: Wednesday 4 Feb 2009 11.28pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: No SubjectAre you online?
From: David Thorne
Date: Wednesday 4 Feb 2009 11.37pm
To: Simon
Subject: Re: No SubjectConcentrate and ask again.
From: Simon
Date: Wednesday 4 Feb 2009 11.41pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: No SubjectFuck you.
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haha