Bird Chirping

Out of context: Reply #5

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  • gruntt0

    You're going to need the following materials:
    1 Down Pillow
    2 Cans of Spray Mount
    Yellow Paint
    Bird Seed
    1 Hammer
    A quiet room with sturdy table.
    1 Can of Beer

    here is what you do: Open the seam of the down pillow along one side, careful not to spill the feathers.

    Have a friend (or not a friend, it doesn't matter) cover your body with the spray adhesive.

    Starting at the top, dump the down pillow feathers on your head and body making sure to cover entire body except for your nose and your mouth.

    Take the yellow paint and dip your nose/mouth area into (breath OUT not IN).

    Wait for paint to dry.

    Place the offending laptop off center on the sturdy table in the quiet room.

    To the side of the laptop place a good size pile of birdseed.

    Holding the hammer behind your back, strut around the room making bird like sounds and motions (jerky head movements, etc).

    Take notice of the birdseed and approach it with curiousity.

    Look back and fourth in a birdlike manner and stick your face down into the pile of birdseed and quickly stand back up spitting seeds all over the place.

    Repeat 3-29 times until the bird inside of your laptop feels safe eating the birdseed with you.

    Once the bird comes out and starts eating smash the bastard with the hammer.

    Problem solved, have a beer.

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