blog
- Started
- Last post
- 75,843 Responses
- mattyd0
what is it say about me, when you mention that there is a dead body in the woman's bathroom, my only question is "i wonder if she was hot"?
- bradpitt0
I am gay and I think rand is hot today.
- mattyd0
my girlfriend of two years and i broke up last week. since then, ive gone to foxwoods and played craps, shot skeet and hunted phesant. this weekend, i literally didn't sleep at all. i just drank and shot guns. ive filed the papers with the government to start my own company and ive been methodically growing a mustache for the sole purpose of seeing the faces of people i haven't seen in a while at the local bar.
she called me an hour ago and asked how i was doing with it all, i said 'its been pretty tough."
- ********0
confession:
I hardly looked at dixonbaxi before bookmarking it and declaring it great. I haven't looked at it since.ps:
there's a dead reindeer in the bathroom
- ********0
now THAT'S blogging, matty
- mattyd0
it was a toss-up between my myspace page and here.
- peteski0
the dead gay guy in a bag in the bathroom wants to know mayo's shoe size.
- mayo0
Depends on what kind of shoes. the ones i'm wearing now are 7.5. Is that good? did I win?
- mayo0
i just emailed an attorney and asked him two questions based on 2 Law&Order SVU episodes.
- ********0
billy joe never had a lick of sense--pass the biscuits, please.
- Jnr_Madison0
What's the longest you can keep a body before the smell becomes to over powering?
- bradpitt0
3 days 16 hours 29 minutes and 36 seconds.
- _salisae_0
Easy like the laces of an old shoe. Rope falling over identical rope. Over, under, pull tight, bunny ear, bunny ear, loop, walk, run. But wait, step back.
Not-so-damn-fast. Please strike those comments from the record young pretty court stenographer with the freshly waxed calves and crimson nails marred by coffee stained teeth. Start over. Done and walking. No thinking or explanation needed. The way it should be. Easy. Quick.
Thoughtless and pure like rolling to the left, mid-dream. Only upon unfolded eyes, heavy legs tangled in miles of warm sheet do you realize the taste of the destination. Ah the destination! Even if it were lined with all the candy, cigarettes, puppy's breath and vanilla pudding it couldn't be more perfect. So easy. So strange and different. So uncomfortably comfortable. Perfect in every way.
The way the ghost of your childhood slips under the fence unnoticed by your attention-starved adulthood. The ache of never having. Gone. Forgotten in those tangled sheets. Forgotten like looping the bunny ears before rubber hit soil. Walk. Run. No, maybe. Skip! Yes, definitely skip. With 'destination' in your pocket like a shiny stolen toy fire engine. Skip. If you skip hard enough you can feel that candy red stolen tin engine slide up and down!
Did you get that? Did you record that in your notes miss court reporter? Please don't chew your nails, not now. Did you get the part about 'destination'? Did you get the part about the sheets? Speak up. Yes? Okay, thank you. It's very important.
It happens so fast. So easy and perfect! And yet year after year after attention starved adult year the destination gets farther and farther. The sheets stay where they were laid when eyes first creased. The taste of unfamiliar gets lost like the first sip of soda; seemingly never to be had again. Heavy, restless tangled legs stay put. A smooth roll to the left in mid-dream is but just that, a dream. A dream you'd induce if there were only a liquid to set it into motion. Like a song you learned as a child, 'it's on the tip of my tongue!' Forgotten and lost. Dance steps on a dance floor in a town you can't remember the directions to. They were written down here somewhere! Forgotten? Lost forever? It's got to be in a box around here somewhere...
- _salisae_0
cookin a mess of collard greens .. gonna have some pot liquor tonight!
- ********0
finding myself a bit hungry, so i may go and get a snack
magicpatch
(Oct 23 03, 17:09)
- ********0
- brooke0
4:48am. Still awake.
- Peter0
I listened to country music today
- Spix0
i had 3 beers, and it is not lunch time yet...
- Bluejam0
its raining