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- canuck0
bad times.
- ********0
You love it.
I mean you reeeaaallly fuckin love it, man.
- ********0
You guys are some funny cats.
- ********0
- ********0
I'm surfing the warm industry
- emokid0
is it time to go home yet?
- ********0
it's time to drink it all away (again)
- emokid0
that would be nice
- ********0
it is
- canuck0
drink the cold away.
- ********0
and get warm
- canuck0
I'm not really sure what I'm doing this for but I need something to fill up the days.
- ********0
that was boring
- ********0
you think competence interesting, while I find it boring
- canuck0
shalom in your home.
- neue75_bold0
My site is no longer available on the internet... but if you send me a self-addressed return envelope with 5 proofs of purchase I'd be happy to send you a copy...
- ********0
I have a pirated copy
- ********0
make something beautiful
be something beautiful
see something beautifulall the same
- ********0
5 out of 5 stars Probably the most AMAZING example of Man vs. Animal ever seen. Incredible., July 9, 2005
Reviewer: Howard Tuttleman... howardtuttleman@howardtuttleman... Lover of the Arts, Teenage Genious, Master Critic (Ferndale, MI) - See all my reviews
I must admit that when I reviewed Conan the Destroyer a while back, it was pretty much a frisbee-review. I had caught the beginning on cable, saw the great scene where Conan the Destroyer punches a camel and I rushed off to write my review. That scene lingered in my mind soooooooo much that I coulndn't resist buying this OTHER Conan movie. And OOOOOOOOHHHHHH man. Let me just say that I might have a new favorite movie! Let's review!Okay, first this young kid gets an interesting speech from a guy with a beard that I thought was okay. Then there was this wild Barbarian attack and there were even Barbarian DOGS! My dog, (Morris) has some Barbarian-like qualities (like his power and his manners), so I really felt like he needed some armor like those movie-dogs. My mom has a really long brown-leather jacket that I think I could tailor up into a little costume for him.
Anyways. Conan gets caught and ends up spinning a giant wheel (not unlike a ferris-wheel) until he becomes a pit-fighter. There are some AMAZING pit-fights and one guy is a maniac biter. Conan learns to be a Barbarian and gets chased by wolves later. He meets a lady and wrestles her and throws her into a fire! Then he meets a master-thief and they talk a little-bit until they are manpanions. They run and run for miles, only stopping once to go into town and shop for a while. Conan kicks a dog there. Then they run again and stop into another town to get drunk.
In what I consider to be my absolute favorite scenes in any movie EVER, Conan and his Master-Thief get drunk and Conan yells at some girls, and bumps into a camel. He then proceeds to deliver an haymaker-style punch to it, and completely knocks it out cold. Everyone in the town stares at him in awe. Incredible. Eventually they meet a girl and go underground where Conan kicks a rat across the room and then they sword-fight a snake.
For those of you who immediately left your computer to go out and buy the DVD after you just read that last paragraph, we'll pick it up here. Conan goes off on his own and meets a great Wizard. They talk for 15 seconds and become manpanions. Conan asks him for some flowers and then rides a camel. Then he meets a priest who I THOUGHT was going to be his NEW manpanion, until something unexpected happens. Then later Conan is tied to a tree. And in yet ANOTHER fantastic scene, Conan gets pecked at by a bird when he is asleep, so he BITES IT TO DEATH. Are you seeing how great this is yet?
Later on, Conan is asleep and his Wizard-Manpanion draws all over his face. That's a really old trick to play on someone. Then a cloud-nightmare happens and the Wizard grunts and moans uncomfortably. Then a huge battle at a castle happens. Don't get your hopes up when you see the jaguar in this scene. It gets away with no punches thrown at it. Kind of disappointing, if you ask me. The rest of the movie is more excellent-swordfights, all the way till the end. And all of this is just a taste compared to what you will see if you buy this movie.
Now since I've already done a review for Conan the Destroyer, I can't tell you too much more about it, but I will mention a few certain parts here. First off, is that I realized the Camel that Conan punches in Conan the Destroyer is the SAME camel he punches in Conan the Barbarian!!! In Conan the Destroyer he rides into town with his Master-Thief on horses. The Master-Thief recognizes the camel and points it out to Conan. He begins to apologize for punching it in his first movie, and THATS when the camel spits the foul looking foam in Conan's face. Now when Conan punches the camel THIS time, it's more of a Hammer-Blow style punch, that once again knocks it out cold. I really can't decide which one I like better. OH YEAH, and in this other scene, a guy is riding his horse, full speed at Conan, when he is merely on foot. Conan gets in the ready position and then POW!!! He punches the guy's horse in the face and knocks it out, sending it's rider flying off.
In conclusion, I think I have found a new favorite movie. If you are like me, and your favorite style of conflict is Man vs. Animal, then it just doesn't get better than a Conan movie. This movie REALLY makes me want to go to the zoo. Oh My God! The ZOO!!! I have to go now, I have an idea. Later.