taking a break from your gf
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- Sven_sk
my girlfriend and i are on a break (her idea not mine). we have been dating steady for five years and we are best friends.
its complicated by the fact that we live together. it sucks bc i love her so much and just want to spend time with her and talk with her. but i need to give her space to figure things out. should i just move out and move on hoping that she comes back to me or should i try to stick it out and make the best of a difficult situation? i don't want to loose my girlfriend and i definitely dont want to loose my best friend. we just recently moved to a new city and i haven't made a lot of new friends here yet.
any ideas on the best way to get through this?
- skt0
drink. it takes away the pain. for a while anyway.
- joyride0
I could tell you what I think about your situation... but your not going to like it. And I could tell you how maybe to save this thing, but, more then likely when you see the truth you won't want it back anyway... but i feel for you man, i really do.
- tkmeister0
pop the question!
- Sven_sk0
I could tell you what I think about your situation... but your not going to like it. And I could tell you how maybe to save this thing, but, more then likely when you see the truth you won't want it back anyway... but i feel for you man, i really do.
joyride2
(Jun 5 06, 07:26)what is your advice on how to maybe save this? sometimes the truth hurts, let me have it.
- Sven_sk0
pop the question!
tkmeister
(Jun 5 06, 07:27)oh i should have said this earlier but we have been engaged for a little over a year. so i guess she's not my girlfriend but my fiance. i just always call her my girlfriend bc i hate the word "fiance." the wedding plans have been pushed back a couple of times bc of family issues and scheduling with work and what not. the wedding palns kinda stalled a little bit bc of those delays.
- jox0
Man, I'm sorry. Fucking women and their games, I've been through the exact same thing. What I'm gonna tell you is gonna make it feel worse right now but it'll probably help you move on. I believe I got the tip on NT in the first place.
A "break" has in my experience never worked, it just drags the pain out over a longer period of time. I took a break from my girlfriend of 4 years for about a month. We got back together because she came to the conclusion "that she did love me" or some fucking crap. Went on together for 6 months when she made up her mind once again. It's like when your heart has finally healed again, she brings out a the meatcleaver and rips it right out again.
It must be extremely difficult for you being in a new city, but the best advice I can give you is to move on. Make new friends. It's gonna hurt for a while but the old cliches work, time heals everything.
This may sound insane but NT has helped me deal with some difficult times in life, when I didn't have the energy to go over and cry at a friend's.
Good luck my friend. And remember, what doesn't kill you only makes you stornger.
- Crouwel0
i have dated 3 women and two of them keep sending me sms messages. one of them is very serious about us i am afraid.. :|
what have i done??
- Sven_sk0
thanks jox
i am going to florida for a week near the end of june. i was going to try to stick it out with her until i get back. i'm hoping that when i'm away from her for a week that she will realize just how much she misses me and likes having me around and this will all be resolved and we can go back to planning our wedding. if not and if she still needs her space then i was going to start looking at new places, move out and try to move on. thats the best plan i can come up with right now.
- Crouwel0
sorry. thought this was the right place to vent about it.
carry on.
- Sven_sk0
i have dated 3 women and two of them keep sending me sms messages. one of them is very serious about us i am afraid.. :|
what have i done??
Crouwel
(Jun 5 06, 07:33)it seems like eventually they do come back if it was their idea to leave. and it seems like they come back just as you are getting your life back together when you don't feel like you need them.
- tkmeister0
well, i am sure this is a very serious matter and means a lot to you.
hope all will work out. i know keeping the relationship together is hard. as things get more serious and matured, it gets even harder.
best,
- Sven_sk0
what kills me right now is how hot and cold she is. i will go do my own thing and leave her alone and she thinks that i am either mad at her (which i'm not) or will call me and tell me how much she misses me and is starting to think that she made a mistake and can see us definitely getting back together. so i get all excited and hang around her a little bit more and she gets frustrated bc she says im not giving her enough space.
its just frustrating and sad bc we do love each other very much and like i said we are best friends but she wonders if we are better off as just friends bc we are a bit codependent on each other. like we're each others crutch.
- Scottizzle0
Im sorry brother, but you need to back off, move out, and move on. Don't let her play the "space" game, especially if she is the one with things to figure out. Obviously she isnt sure she wants you, so dont sit around and let her drag you down. Move out, find a new hobby, and realize that taking a break means "fucking someone else"
it sucks, but girls know what they want, and they dont want space.
- Sven_sk0
we got a place out in the 'burbs which was mistake number one bc there isn't a lot going on and there isn't much excitement. we kind of settled into a routine and i think it scares her a lot.
- chossy0
perhaps you should introduce toys and sensual oil massages.
- Sven_sk0
realize that taking a break means "fucking someone else"
Scottizzle
(Jun 5 06, 07:47)she isn't really the type that sleeps around and is VERY picky about the guys she dates. she'll go out with her friends from work and likes getting attention from other guys and talking to them but laughs at them bc their approaches are all so lame.
- Crouwel0
and it seems like they come back just as you are getting your life back together when you don't feel like you need them.
Sven_sk
(Jun 5 06, 07:39)'xactly...
- tkmeister0
perhaps you should introduce toys and sensual oil massages.
chossy
(Jun 5 06, 07:50)i second that.
- Sven_sk0
perhaps you should introduce toys and sensual oil massages.
chossy
(Jun 5 06, 07:50)the sex isn't the problem. the sex is amazing. toys, oils, lingerie... we do all that.
the problem is we've grown together, started to loose who we were as individuals and started to settle into a routine and it scares her into thinking she is getting old and boring or something dumb like its not as exciting as it used to be when we first started dating.
- barbtastic0
dump the bitch