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- Horp0
I saw a hipster this morning, dressed as one of the waltons, but with a big victorian waxed moustache and hobnail boots de-laced and splayed theatrically at the ankle. He was riding a home-made easy-rider style peddle bike. He was sat very very low on his peddle bike. Almost like a child's tricycle height. The bike was very long from front to back. He had just crossed the busy road on his peddle bike and discovered that he couldn't get it up the tall kerbstone on the other side. He was desperately trying to get it up the kerbstone without facing the indignity of getting off this stupid thing and lifting it onto the footpath.
The traffic was building up quite a head of steam behind him as his legs paddled and plapped ridiculously about like a wet frog trying to gain purchase on a teflon slope. Horns started honking, shouting happened, and this ridiculous buffoon of a man continued faddling and groiling at the insurmountable kerb.
Eventually these two geezers in a van got out and marched over like YOU FACKIN' WHAT GUV? then bodily lifted the style-clown and bike as one... lifted him up like a child onto the kerb, depositing him down with no grace, then returning to their van to drive off.
The hipsters legs continued peddling thin air as they lifted him, and then when they put him down rather suddenly he wasn't prepared. He fell over sideways. Leg trapped under the frame and his own beanpole weight.
So I then had the pleasure of a few moments watching him flamp and gipper about on the pavement like a fish before I eventually grew tired and cycled off.
He probably died of dehydration at some point this afternoon, after shufting himself on his side into a waste space beneath the public benches along the sea front.
- gator-hunting season in the US lasts only 1 month out of the year - but it's enough to manage the population...PonyBoy
- ... see where I'm going here?PonyBoy
- haha, delightful story.Hombre_Lobo
- hahahaha********
- ********0
I was going to write a long entry about how I just got served the worst greasiest meal after waiting far too long this lunch time but then I decided not to as I am intimidated by Horps eloquence. In comparison it makes me look (and feel) like an illiterate child.
So instead. CUNT AND BALLS.
- Nonsense nonsense, lets have it. Tell us your tale, traveller.Horp
- Haha, I saw cunt and balls before anything else and instantly thought "ah lets look at what set posted"!Hombre_Lobo
- a blatant set post. TITS AND ELBOW CUNT********
- AND FADGIE********
- you have to use your ivagination.********
- haha ivagination!Hombre_Lobo
- ********0
- vin diesel & loaf?capn_ron
- we've been making these in the office this afternoon********
- thought i would show & tell********
- or.... shell********
- show moa-r! show moa-r!capn_ron
- rock n' roll!monospaced
- duane & breadscarabin
- BREAD HEAD?utopian
- Horp0
Just listened to a song from my adolescence. Now I feel melancholy. What a fucking mess this all is. When this song was a regular on my tape player in my shitty little car, the world was nothing like this. There wasn't even any digital. No mobile phones, nothing. Any idea how exciting life is when you are totally out of contact the moment you leave your front door until you arrive at the pre-arranged destination. Everything was exciting when it wasn't all right there in your pocket.
I want to go back there. I want to be 18 again. In my shitty little car, with my cassettes, and my shitty bit of money. I was never richer than when I had a crappy weekday job and a Saturday job in a shop and it earned me just enough to get me blasted at the pub every night from Thursday to Sunday.
Now everything is a fucking crisis. The economy, the errr, the, the other stuff... you don't need me to list all the things that are fucking wrong do you?. Its a fucking mess people. Clear it up wont you? and give me back my X reg 1.0 mini metro, and my cassettes, and my ripped jeans, and my proper original Chucks before they became cheaply made by Nike, and my confident attitude, and two weeks of Ibiza nightclubs every summer, and my teenage body WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SAUSAGE ROLL I'M TRAPPED INSIDE? I USED TO BE BUILT LIKE A FUCKING ACTION MAN FFS. GET ME OUT OF THIS.
Fuck it. Don't go back to the past and listen to that sad shit you used to listen to when you were feeling lovelorn. It pulls you into a chasm of sadness and loss.
Here's to you 1988. I hope we can do it again some day. Those drinks. The girls. Those three blondes at the Old Varsity Tavern. Fuck knows what their names were, but dammit, thank you for those 1988, thank you for blowing my mind.
- the song?drgs
- Ah, it doesn't matter Drgs. It wouldn't mean anything to anyone else.Horp
- no dude, don't mourn the past, celebrate the present and make new memories. your life ain't over yet!scarabin
- take a lesson from my boy k-space http://movies.netfli…scarabin
- GeorgesII0
stepped on my tablet,
broken screen- Oaf... uck.Horp
- how do you step on your tablet? are you working on the ground or something?capn_ron
- oh, crikey
apple care cover that?scarabin - they dont have tables over thereeficks
- the archos thing? fapping? wtf happened?********
- tried stepping on the sofa with my kid in one arm, the tablet was under a sheet and suffered a good knee dropGeorgesII
- will post picsGeorgesII
- Awwwe mate ul :(Hombre_Lobo
- hallelujah0
it must be a joy to have found such nuanced readers
- autoflavour0
walked into the sticker museum and arrived just as a tour group was about to leave..
let them in, and in the first 5 minutes sold 3 artworks for 120euro..
BAM!
- NotByHand0
I miss you, Tim...
- that's what he WANTS you to say. He'll run out of Cheezits and root beer soon enough and tow his wagon homelocustsloth
- identity0
They freed the West Memphis Three today
- Sutteklut0
:(
- PonyBoy0
Do I finally use the BIC? My baldness has really taken hold and for a while now I've been sure to buzz everything down to... nothing. Even then my fryer-tuck-top glows... beckoning pigeons and other flying foul to take aim... ... ... perhaps the BIC will even out the discrepancy and free my winged friends of their temptation...
... but I live in the worst land on the planet in terms of skin cancer patients (damned sun)... ... perhaps it's time I found a suitable hat? Hat-head isn't really a problem for me these days...
- pango0
Ok. i'm getting desperate here.
I'm working with a music site going to a 2 days music festival interviewing bands. but we still don't have a ride... and the event is tomorrow.
Any Vancouver QBNer kind enough to give us a ride (me and a girl)? going from Vancouver to Squamish BC. Will pay gas and however much you think is worth your time.
Here's the good part. The interviewer is this gorgeous super hot chick. in-fact i'm gonna post her photo!
lol see how desperate i'm?
- ********0
I posted a pic the other day of what I thought was my starfish cleaning my snail because it was funny and looked like some crustaceous doggy style action... I've since reconsidered that theory now that my starfish is significantly larger and my snails shell is empty.
- ********0
I say, "ooh girl..."
- shock me like an electric eeeeeel...scarabin
- TUUUNEHombre_Lobo
- ********0
No spam on Sunday's?
- utopian0
Burger King ends King campaign, splits with Crispin Porter + Bogusky. The King of crowdsourcing & outsourcing has been canned!
- loool0
finally going to Belgium for my Master studies...there is a couple of days now for finding a flat, finishing paperwork...
I hope that I can find some kind of a job then...really need it for extra cash...if anyone knows some Belgium job boards just let me know...
- Fabricio0
I think I am in love again... and its such a bad timing... :(