Punches For:

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  • monNom-3

    "Wah-lah" in place of "voilà"

  • colin_s2

    anytime somebody wealthy or influential has like an acid trip that changes their life and then does a jerry maguire and quits their job at an ad agency/investment bank/hedge fund to "live without materialism" and "be present" and puts all these pull quotes into an arranged profile in the sunday new york times lifestyle section, and in the end says something like, "I just wanted to find myself, and then find a way to give back to my country/the world that has given me so much"

    like, No motherfucker. It didn't give you shit. you took it. you worked in a tyrannical industry fueled by profits at no matter what other cost, likely causing trauma to millions of people you'll never know in ways you can't imagine, your minimalism is a joke because you have financial security and your entire fucking life is a facade of polished horseshit, your soul is a lie and your entire life is proof a just god does not exist because if there was one you would surely be at best struck by lightning and die instantly.

    wealth and power are never given, they're taken and utilized for manipulative purposes exactly like public relations campaigns that photoshop a smile on to these fucking devils who will never know true fear and whose greatest social anxiety is not being able to keep up the pace of new luxury conspicuous consumption with whatever jackass they're next to in the private club in lower manhattan.

    • Steve Jobs was into the yoga Colin, it helped him deal with the suicides. Namaste.PhanLo
    • Some people are born into wealth and you can't fault them for that. It would be good if Donald Trump Jr. did this.
      ********
  • mg337

    All this incessant fawning over a new royal baby. Holy F... thousands of babies are born every single day. Thousands of babies have a name chosen every single day.

    Exalting any one child as somehow more extraordinary than any other is just gross. I'm not opposed to the concept of royalty, but holy hell... the baby came out of her body same as anyone else.

    • The Kardashians of England. What has Prince Harry even done in his life?
      ********
    • you'd be surprised.Morning_star
    • The Royals in the UK are their Disney World, it brings millions of tourists; its pure junk food for the massesBennn
    • Royal watching is to women as Football is to menTurboslacker
    • ...musings from the peloton...imbecile
    • Yep, bullshit. An ancient bullshit though with deep roots, the have nots fawning over the haves.dorfsman
    • Come on, it’s the Brexit baby. Ordered by the government to distract the nation. You know it’s true!Ianbolton
    • It's good they widened the gene pool this time around.
      But anyone who worships a royal is a slave.
      PhanLo
    • Who gives a fuck? Thousands of more deserving kids are born every day without fanfare.PublicVoice
    • I don't think there is a guy on earth who gives a shit. it's a fairy tale / reality show for women.hotroddy
  • ********
    -3

    People who talk in emojis. Kids describe things they like as "fire" and "lit" and say "dead" when they think things are funny.

    • even worse when middle aged men do this. punches too good for them - kill them with firehans_glib
    • ********
    • "punch"
      ********
    • haha, every generation has their slang that the previous generation thinks sounds idiotic, and we aren't an exceptionmonospaced
    • this post belongs in the "Signs You're Getting Old" threadKrassy
    • We used to say, “that’s sick!” And “dope!” or “badass” all of which our parents thought sounded totally retarded.monospaced
    • ^ truesection_014
    • "dead"? that's a new one for me.sarahfailin
    • just thinking the same thing. dead means funny?dopepope
    • ^ died laughing. "I'm dead".
      ********
    • lol so true mono
      ********
  • i_monk6

    Toilets that splash when they flush so it looks like someone dribbled on the seat. You can't be sure they didn't.

  • NBQ00-4

    So many 5G threads on frontpage. WTF

  • colin_s1
    • Not quite sure why this deserves punches. Enlighten me.Continuity
  • ********
    -3

    • forced obsolescence as a business model i wonder if history will ever turn on these twatscolin_s
    • Phones aren’t obsolete if they can’t run the newest OS. Derpmonospaced
    • I'm still on iOS 9.3.5, nice one Steve. :-)PhanLo
    • Aren’t those models 5 years old now?monospaced
  • NBQ00-2

    Well, not literally punching a woman but you get the idea...

    What's up with Madonna?

    https://www.instagram.com/p/Bxnx…

  • shapesalad0

    uber eats?

  • Ramanisky224

    my conservative knucklehead friends who decided to have this made for my birthday yesterday.
    Those son’sabitches ... LOL!!
    Surprisingly I didn’t vomit after that slice I had.

    • LOL great!renderedred
    • HAHA
      Happy birthday Ram!!
      moldero
    • Thanks MoldieRamanisky2
    • missing hashtag#
      Would not eat!
      utopian
    • Hehe! The best, the Trump's toy... Late hbd!!OBBTKN
    • Happy 60th anniversary, Ramaniskydrgs
    • lol thnx fellas.Ramanisky2
    • Awesome! Did they do this cause you turned 45? (Matching the bestest pres' presidency num?)Krassy
    • hbd ram!! eat its head first;)sted
    • Actually 47 yrs old.
      Oh and the trump head is wax and I’m gonna burn that mutha down. LOL.
      Ramanisky2
  • BusterBoy8

    Just sit the fuck down! It's an NBA game, not a Drake love in.

    • This guy. In his four year old Acronym jacket because his stylist found it on Grailed.ben_
    • Some people are just obnoxious...pinkfloyd
    • He's the team's official ambassador. Sorta like another mascot. I'm ok with it because I'm a Raps fan and he reps the city well. *shrug*Gucci
    • I can see 7 people standing up in this shot. Maybe it was half time or the end or whatever.Hayzilla
    • dat comment section tho
      https://imgur.com/ga…
      loool
    • tbh i love this series but the fact is i want drake to lose, so therefore am rooting for the buckscolin_s
    • Wow Drake slander has even reached QBN. LOLLLdesmo
    • @lool those comments are gold!renderedred
    • Every time I see this muppet on tv I like the raptors less and less to the point that I’m now cheering for the bucks. And I’m a torontonian ffs_niko
    • insufferable cunts, most of you. ever heard of the OVO Athletic Centre?imbecile
    • or..? https://hypebeast.co…imbecile
    • He's invited, welcomed, and encouraged. You're just haters.imbecile
    • wow 800k for a fucking jacket lol how about buying free tickets for some needy kids in Scarborough or regent park instead._niko
    • the guy's corny as fuck and an embarrassment to our city. I hope he chokes on the shirley temples he drinks on the sidelines_niko
    • I used to hate Drake, but I like that he's die hard Raps. I just hate when they let him do commentary on regular season games.Al_dizzle
    • both teams fighting for a chance to get slaughtered by Golden State.see_bee
    • I thought it was DJ KHALEDfeel
    • He's just a cornball, from his origins to his music to his enthusiasm, it all seems so disingenuous and manufactured. Doesn't take away from the Raptors for me,ben_
    • except for when they focus on him to the point of absurdity. Also ++ what Niko said, between the jacket and that monopoly stupidity they could have funded someben_
    • really needy and appreciative fans.ben_
  • Nairn0

    Email time stamp: 3:09
    Time I saw email: 3:10
    Time flustered client to ask if I'd gone through email: 3:11
    Time she realised she'd not included any attachments: 3:12
    Time I hung up, swearing mentally: 3:12:25

    Slow. The. Fuck. Down. A. Bit.

    • *time flustered client PHONED to ask.
      Oh, and this is all for monday, a bank holiday here in the UK.
      Oh, oh, and all in materials I don't use.
      Nairn
    • yeah but can you cut metal????hans_glib
    • sounds about right for a fridayIanbolton
    • Tell your client to chill the fuck out. If you cannot tell your client this, it's your problem.cannonball1978
    • Gosh, thanks cannonball.
      *writes in notes*
      Learn to tell clients to fuck off!
      I've never thought about that in all these years. Saved!
      Nairn
    • Good now you know how to cope with stupid clients! Happy to help.cannonball1978
  • shapesalad0

    Internation phone call charges.

    Thought I was calling my mate in Australia via FaceTime, turns out I had instead just called his number directly. 1 hour call... came to £84. In the days of Skype and VOIP.... what the F different are mobile phone companies doing to justify £84 for an hours call!

    • my carrier blocks apple's wifi-calling feature (when roaming) so I can't use it to call long-distance for freeGnash
    • Aye, totally - I paid £40 for a 20 minute 'happy birthday' call to my Dad in the EU last year, my partner £50 to a <1 hr call to Germany a month ago.Nairn
    • Yes, of course we should've checked the rates, but by fuck if that isn't clearly a complete rip off. It's all been digital data for decades now - costs fuck allNairn
    • Could be worse - https://www.cbc.ca/n…
      = about $1,350 per MB.
      Nairn
  • Maaku0

    Men that spray their palms with cologne. And you only find out is by shaking their hands.

    • find out by*Maaku
    • That's nasty. Do you work in porn or metallurgy? Where do you find these men?
      Asking for a friend.
      deadsperm
    • lol. I just hate smelling like something I didn't choose for myself.Maaku
    • lol, deadGnash
  • Continuity0

    Fucking sciatica.

    Been living with pain that makes me see stars since Friday. Ibuprofen isn't helping, stretches aren't helping, and I fucking can't sleep because of it.

    Ugh.

    • Get a racquetball or tennis ball and sit on it on the floor. Focusing on the spot where the pain is and just dig in while moving the ball in all direction.ok_not_ok
    • Ostheopathy, did you try it?Bennn
    • CBD for the pain, or a fat Indica joint for the sleep.Maaku
    • Oh ... Tiger Balm seems to be helping a tiny bit.Continuity
    • is sciatica just pain management, or is there actually a procedure for curing it?monospaced
    • Sciatica is basically the nerve running from your spine down your leg, pinched at its source.Continuity
    • I found swimming helped and changing my seating posture when I work. Seemingly fucked off after a few months, but yeah, it's shit!Ianbolton
  • Ianbolton16

    Whoever posted a picture of a horses dick in pic of the day. My boss was stood behind me and said "oh Ian, really?"

    • o no!ok_not_ok
    • You're welcome.deadsperm
    • Fixed. ;)mg33
    • but how was their pronunciation?

      I mean, they could've been interested?
      Nairn
    • Between a bridge giving the middle finger, a dude blowing a condom with his nose, an ad for women over 45 & a toilet with a sticker...deadsperm
    • ... it's the beauty of equine anatomy you have an issue with.
      God bless!
      deadsperm
    • It wasn't me, but this is awesome. lolMaaku
    • oh good, just saved $160 by cancelling my therapy appointmentGnash
    • LOLdeadsperm
    • Oh shit, not only was it removed from the frontpage but completely deleted. I'd like to be those of you that didn't see it just to imagine the nastiness of it.deadsperm
    • Someone posted a photo a horse's willy? The things I miss ...Continuity
    • ***looks over shoulder and heads to the Pic of the Day thread***elahon
    • someone please post the photo here, I missed out the shenanigans.utopian
    • You'll be disappointed:
      https://i.imgur.com/…
      I'm sure you were imagining something better.
      deadsperm
    • ok, now we have "horse's dick" in words on the fp instead of a pic :)renderedred
    • This post hasn't got enough upvotes. Here, have another one!Continuity
    • one horse pic to boss and ur a horse dick enthusiast for all of history.hotroddy
    • 'And then I looked over and saw a horses cock, seemed such a normal guy too...'PhanLo
    • hahahahahahahahahaha...NBQ00
    • great, another qbn trolljaylarson
    • But but, why would anyone browse QBN at work?Krassy
    • I feel a bit shit for getting this deleted guys, but to be fair, I prefer bigger, harder horses cocksIanbolton
    • It wasn't a matter of your personal taste for cocks, it was a matter of context. The post was relevant within the context of other posts at the time.deadsperm
    • Now it's just about a never seen horse cock.
      It's all good though.
      deadsperm
  • sted-6

    • punches for nasa tee shirts?cannonball1978
    • But maybe she really works at NASA!...grafician
    • people have to work at nasa to wear the tee?cannonball1978
    • at least it wasn't a fucking Ramones teefadein11
    • Is that red thing in orbit?MrT
    • Maybe she does work at NASA? or at Space Force perhaps?Krassy
    • @cannonball1978: no you can use the nasa logo on whatever the fuck you want until it isn't related to any other brand lol.sted
    • One could think these tshirts can make you smarter...not the case apparentlygrafician
    • @sted I guess I'm not getting what you think needs punching then.cannonball1978
    • Gravity...we have a problem.utopian
    • punches for sted's ability to describe what punches are for!capn_ron
    • *inabilitymonospaced
    • Punches for me because I have a NASA sweatshirt? I got it when I went to the Kennedy Space Center last year.lemmy_k
    • ahah cunts, just finished morning exercise and i have already slaps waiting for me here, fuck inspiration in general let's kick each others asses for real.sted
    • punches f dumbfuck trend.here you can buy your next Che Guevera tshirt:American Eagle, Urban Outfitters, Forever 21, H&M, Hermès Kelly, until july 20 for sure:)sted
  • Gnash1

    • multi-punch worthyGnash
    • Rheostatics were overrated.ben_
    • ^ my god, were they ever!Gnash
    • not instantly going for the duct tape fix? not canadianprophetone
    • If I have to google your name and I'm still not sure who you are, you're not that "famous"!fooler
    • haha prophetoneNairn
    • hockey tape that shit!stoplying
    • Lol. All 3 of my cases are held together with duct tape.Gnash
    • Buy a PRS case then.section_014
    • Love how companies now ask "influencers" asking for freebies if you can sell 10 of our products then we'll give you a free one. Influencers seldom accept...whatthefunk
    • the heck!notype
    • You don’t ask, you don’t get.scruffics
    • lolnotype
  • Nairn-1

    Architects. Again.

    Sure, specify a material thickness that not only doesn't exist, but tangibly couldn't and wouldn't exist in any universe other that that of your peculiarly self-absorbed bubble. Then, that done, ask of it the impossible - cut it so thin that crucial details are less than a quarter of a millimetre in width. Why the fuck not?

    Challenge everything! Dream the impossible dream!

    Meanwhile, I'll be here wondering wtf you studied for 7+ years for and why it's you sat in that swanky office in an expensive part of London whilst I stare at bleak plasterboard walls in a hovel in grim Norf Landan.

    *grumbles*

    • (I had to bring it back to Punches For... Me)Nairn
    • what type of work do you do?monospaced
    • I realise the visions and aspirations of designers, artists and enthusiastic patrons of the creative endeavour through the medium of photon beams.Nairn
    • Architects have the worst % pay rate to schooling. I know designers that only went to school for 2 years that make more money than most architects.fooler