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- StoicLevels0
QBNlog 3.23.2021
It's here! The Borg has consumed me. I don't wish to go outside. I am completely consumed with the virtual. I don't feel myself unless I have taken the daily digital dosages. Meanwhile, the spring breakers are outside being horny little sexy buggers and I am an old tired senpai, unimpressed with their intellectual drivel. I'd rather chill with the Borg until I feel like a melted wax statue. Eventually I will have to unplug from the Borg and relearn how to use my senses but the Borg really isn't that bad. It sucked me into the Snyderverse where I was able to sit 4 hours to watch the Snyder cut. I was entertained. Flash wasn't as annoying, Cyborg and Steppenwolf had cool backstories, Batman was cool... the internet trolls were right along. The Snyder cut should have been released! The Borg is my friend.
- StoicLevels0
QBN log 3.31.21
Things have been smelly here on the ship ever since Bones clogged the restroom with a turd the crew has cristened the "EVER GIVEN". The thing just wouldn't budge. Anywho, we were able to dislodge it using a phaser ray and peanut butter. The Borg has infected many of us on the ship while others have taken the vaccine. I was infected and I'm mostly feeling fine... hungry, but fine. I've been eating non-stop. The trim stomach I had been rocking all winter is now a bloated bulge. Luckily, spring is here and I am cutting out the pasta in favor of Garbanzos. I'll be in top shape by June.
- StoicLevels0
QBN log 3.11.21
I asked Uhura out. She said I was sweet but she isn't ready to get back into dating. Whatever. I hope Sulu doesn't find out about this.
In other news, Scotty was able to create a virtual reality clone of Abraham Lincoln. The Lincoln clone has been smoking weed and drinking whiskey nonstop all week. He says he misses his Nana. I may have to decommission it, but if it has become sentient Starfleet would not allow it.
- StoicLevels0
QBN Log 2.23.21
The crew and I have have not left the theater. We have found a way to fight the anxiety of the Borg by using what Scotty called "The Chill". This is a technique where you ignore the anxiety of impending doom or the appearance of impending doom by finding a happy place in your mind and finding tranquility. For Sulu it's the heroin. For Spock, Bones, Scotty and myself it's the theater. We... may ... be here a while.
- StoicLevels0
QBN log 5.1.2021
Just came back from a quality run in the sports chamber. I hope my knees can maintain their structural integrity. This week on planet QBN I let curiosity get the best of me and tried interactions with the community. Let's just say it was mostly a waste of energy and not something I would recommend investment in. Enjoyment of QBN should be reserved for weird, off the wall media and the occasional stupid blurb. There are now a plethora of other paths to planets with intelligent communication to visit. This place is for the lulz. Now that the crew and I are vaccinated from the Borg it is time for us to take off into the unknown crevices of the ass we call cyberspace. We will return.
This has been James T Kirk.