Joke of the Day
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- Gnash2
Erdogan calls on EU for dialogue, says Turkey’s future in Europe
- Projectile9
- [Laughs in ultrasound]palimpsest
- I don’t get itscarabin
- The moth betrayed itself with the response to the call.
Bat: Who let the dogs out?
Moth: Who, who, who... Oh shit!palimpsest - https://www.youtube.…rzu-rzu
- scarabin5
Why does Santa have such a big sack?
‘Cause he only comes once a year
- ********0
- ********3
My girl broke up with me saying I'm childish.
So I rang her doorbell and ran away.
- 12xu-1
A horn player who had been playing with Buddy Rich for many years came back from vacation to hear a rumor that Buddy had died. He didn't quite believe it, so he phoned Buddy's wife and said "Can I speak to Buddy please?"
Buddy's wife said, "I'm sorry, Buddy passed away last week."
"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that," he said, and hung up.
A couple of hours later, he called her again. "Is Buddy there please?"
"No, I'm sorry. Buddy's no longer with us," said Buddy's wife. And hung up the phone.
Ten minuted later, he called Buddy's wife again. "Can I speak to Buddy please?" he said.
She recognized his voice, and said: "Look, I've told you before, BUDDY'S DEAD!" And slammed down the phone.
Two minutes later, and the phone rang again... "Is Buddy at home please?" the horn player asked.
Buddy's wife was furious. "I'm not going to tell you again, Buddy is dead.. D. E. A. D. DEAD. Why do you keep ringing me to ask for Buddy???!!!!"
He thought for a moment, and said: "I just love hearing you say it."
- Longcopylover20
- It's so bad I love it. Sorry.Longcopylover
- Dad jokelemmy_k
- what a joker_niko
- Wait, is that the "checking out another girl" meme guy?Akagiyama
- WHOOMP!!prophetone
- Hahaha, shit, that's terrible.
I love it.Continuity - OMG, I'm saying this to my son as soon as he wakes up!elahon
- took me way too long to get it....pango
- I way over-thought this, haha.Nairn
- +++brt44
- username checks out.utopian
- ouch haha there is a facebook group for these jokes. you can feel your brain-cells dying while readingsted
- utopian1
- Annoying and shit in equal amounts.Hayzilla
- ribs are really more of a meal than a snacksarahfailin
- MrT4
We've just heard Harry Kane flew to Copenhagen and visited Christian Eriksen in hospital. "He's alert and stringing words together so he's making some progress," said Eriksen.
- drgs6
- _niko9
just stumbled on a bunch of soviet jokes:
A worker goes to Stalin and says "Comrade Stalin, there's so many potatoes they'd reach all the way to God!".
Stalin replies "But God doesn't exist."
The worker replies "Yes. Neither do the potatoes."---------------------------
A man in Soviet Russia saves up enough money to buy a car. He goes to the dealership, pays the money and signs the contract. The clerk tells him
"Okay sir, Your car will be ready for you in ten years"
The man replies
"Morning or evening?"
The clerk confused, asks him
"Ten years from now what difference will it make?"
The man tells him
"Well, the plumber is coming in the morning"-------------------
Two Gulag inmates are talking.
"What's your sentence?"
"Twenty years."
"Twenty years? What did you do?"
"I did nothing."
"Well that is impossible."
"Why is it impossible?"
"Because you get ten years for doing nothing."
- Akagiyama2
It was the first day of autumn, and the residents of a Native American reservation asked their new chief if the coming winter would be mild or cold.
This chief had never learned the secrets of his forefathers for predicting the weather. He looked at the acorns on the ground, the moss on the trees, the activity of the squirrels. He didn’t know what any of it meant for the upcoming winter.
So he called the National Weather Service and asked. They said it was too early to tell.
Being a wise and prudent man, he told his people that the winter was indeed expected to be cold and that they should stock up on firewood to be prepared.
After several days, he called the National Weather Service again. This time, the meteorologist had an answer: yes, it looks like it will be a cold winter.
So the chief went back to his people and told them to collect even more firewood in order to be prepared. They asked if they had enough.
So he called the National Weather Service again. "Does it still look like it is going to be a cold winter?"
"It will be a very cold winter," the meteorologist said.
The chief went back to his people and said they didn’t have enough, they needed even more! They set out gathering all the wood they could find, and again they asked: enough?
The chief called the National Weather Service again. "Are you absolutely sure that the winter is going to be very cold?"
"Absolutely," the meteorologist replied. "Perhaps one of the coldest winters ever."
"How can you be so sure?" the chief asked.
“Because the Indians are collecting firewood like crazy!”
- rootlock-2
- rootlock-4
<p>,/“‘DELETE FROM qbn_users WHERE qbn_user_name LIKE ‘%sted%’”/<p>
- _niko1
what did Chris Rock get on his face?
Fresh Prints