religion
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- ApeRobot0
- Catholics are so cool.utopian
- ROFL!ohhhhhsnap
- Catholics think "the glory hole" lives in the pants of alter boysmoldero
- GeorgesIV0
So I was standing in a rather large line at my local Wal-Mart today behind a couple families that I know from when I went to church with my family in year younger. It was the only register open so there wasn't much of another option to get my 12 pack of Mountain Dew for a party I was heading to. I was wondering why the line was going nowhere when I decided to poke my head up front to see what the holdup was. It was a little old lady who didn't have enough for her groceries and she was trying to talk the cashier into letting her get away with being short. This struck me as odd until I found out she was a mere $0.21 short of her purchase. Now all these families were just staring and there was even two making fun of her. I walked up and handed my soda to the cashier, handed him a $5 and told her to keep the change. One of the middle aged women (I knew these people, so I also knew that they all make over 6 digits) grabbed her kid and yelled very loudly, "See that man? He's acting just like Jesus wants us to." For some reason this set me off, so I turned around. I haven't shaved in awhile so I'm rocking some nice scruff, a Slayer shirt, and gym shorts, so it must have been a nice sight. Very loudly, I said "Like Jesus? Ma'am I'm an atheist who makes minimum wage and I was the one who stepped up to help her? Your hypocritical Christianity is an inspiration to us all." As I stormed out, a couple of the cart boys started to whistle and cheer, soon shoppers joined in and even the cashier. I gave a wave and went off with a feeling of accomplishment.
- BS - who takes a 12 pack of mountain dew to a party?bulletfactory
- Fuck yeah G!moldero
- I know you don't shop at or live near a walmartmonospaced
- yeah after reading the 2nd one, I am disappoint, I wish this was realmoldero
- GeorgesIV0
I was standing in a rather long line at a big movie theatre in New York City. I noticed that there were a few people from the college that I go to in that line as well. I got impatient, so I decided to check out what was going on at the front of the line. Now I've not gone out of the house in about 3 weeks, so I have a full-on neckbeard and severe BO while dubstepping it out in a Metallica t-shirt and red underwear. At the front of the line was a man in what appeared to be Rampage-esque clothing with red hair begging the cashier to let him skimp on $0.21. I immediately went up to the man, and handed the cashier the money he needed. The man said, "THANK YOU, gOD!" That was when I snapped. I said, "Sir, there is no gOD, if gOD was real, then he would've paid for your meal. I'm better than gOD anyway because I actually exist." I asked the man to give me a free Mountain Dew because of my atheist beliefs, but he told me that Mountain Dew is banned in New York City. I wasn't going to settle for some theist Dr Pepper drink, so I stole a man's popcorn and threw it in his face and walked out. As I was leaving, the whole theatre just applauded me, and after I left, I even heard them shooting fireworks inside of the theatre to celebrate my atheist beliefs.
- GeorgesIV0
- Wow! Death? you have it on tape? James Murphy was my inspiration.74LEO
- < dumblocustsloth
- (the story, not LEO)locustsloth
- yeah that was kinda lamemoldero
- You lost me at pirate facebook.nb
- GeorgesIV0
Boom, Headshot!!
- a few of hundred years ago we had no evidence of galaxies beyond our own or DNA or radio waves. Doesn't mean_niko
- they don't exist._niko
- btw, unicorns are mentioned frewquently in the bible http://www.answersin…scarabin
- BAMmoldero
- This is clearly faked.animatedgif
- http://31.media.tumb…ApeRobot
- GeorgesIV0
So today I was at a gas station filling up my 1992 Trans AM( fully restored I might add) and this guy next to me says " beautiful day outside, god must me smiling on us." Im usually a pretty calm guy but For some reason this enraged me and I said to him "look you stupid dick there is no god and if there was he would not smile on a short old fat bald guy like you". You should have seen the shocked look on his face. I promptly got in my muscle car and pealed out. I rolled down the window as I was about to exit the gas station and heard clapping and cheering from the other people filling up. I also see in my rear view mirror the gas station attendant running up to my car. Getting ready to deal with him as well I stick my head out the window with a grimacing look but to my surprise he hands me a $100.00 and said he heard the whole thing on the pump speaker and thanked me. That guy was a minimum wage worker like me so you can imagine my shock because $100 is a days work.
I know this sounds unbelievable but as I was pulling onto the street a rare endangered species of bald eagle zipped by but when our eyes met I swear he winked at me.
Atheist- 1 bald fat guy 0
- animatedgif0
The only thing more pathetic than religion are atheists who feel the need to spend their time arguing about it on the internet.
- Long live the all mighty fedora,
GeorgesIV - is "internet" the atheist god? Or are they worshiping "fedora"?ApeRobot
- Takes more than one person to argue.monospaced
- there's more preachy christians than there are preachy Atheistsmoldero
- Carl Sagan is the fedorian atheist godanimatedgif
- Long live the all mighty fedora,
- ohhhhhsnap0
where's the photo of the cat sleeping on the bread. would go so perfectly here.
- He ain't sleeping, he is aware,he's god. Now repent.ApeRobot
- ApeRobot0
^
- GeorgesIV0
bear (rawwwr) with me, I'll go back to making fun of christians, jews and muslims soon,
- are you ricky gervais?ApeRobot
- I didn't realize you had stopped.monospaced
- _niko0
Religion is what keeps the poor from murdering the rich.
-Napoleon Bonapartethat and no-stop honey boo-boo re-runs
- heh, I like the mayonnaise one, or where they smear butter all over the kitchen. Or the chicken one. I like those ones.mikotondria3
- i like when its compared to the dung of a male cowmoldero
- yurimon0
I have heard rumors that an advance ape species made my cell phone but I never seen one made so it must not be true.
Atheists 1 Christians 0
