East London Phrases
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- Spookytim0
Game Bird Paté with spicey pork dipping goujon:
"I grabbed this partridge by the sticks"
I got hold of a pheasant by its legs"introduced a frenchy,"
and placed its meat in a bowl with a generous glug of brandy,"got them mashed as a wag's purse in babylon..."
I pounded the meat and brandy hard and repeatedly, as though I was copulating with a footballer's wife in the BBC drama 'Hotel Babylon'..."then slammed em with some top draw herb before dropping them in the sweaty box..."
Next, I rubbed the mix vigorously with a premium blend of fine italian herbs, and then placed it all in the oven..."... with a randy gang of guatemalan hog's heads"
... with some spiced sweet meat sausages"Meantime, I'm on the easy, flicking old Delia's goods..."
Meanwhile, I relax and have a look at some of Delia Smith's recipes in one of her books..."... and galloping drafty paddy by the bucket... "
...whilst consuming copious amounts of draught Guinness in a can..."fourty shots of eyelid later, supper's ready"
A short nap ensues, after which, the game bird paté and spiced goujon are ready for tasting.
- Spookytim0
The incident in the car
"I ad this barge end twiggin on my chester's best"
I found myself enjoying some felatio from a lady who's face looked liked the wrong end of a canal boat."noshing for glory in the truffle tray of my old puffy's japuar"
She was really going at it, on the back seat of my mother's Toyota Camry."and theres a clop clop on the iris and its only the very same puffy..."
When all of a sudden, I hear a knocking on the window and its my dear mother..."with her bag face on treble and the right nudge on for a box of bingo"
With a most disagreeable expression and a sense of urgency caused by her desire to drive to KFC for some chicken wings
"ART, you filthy double wetters" she hollers.
"Get out, you pair of highly aroused pre-coital rapscallions" she shouts
"Double chomp boatface" I goes
So, I instruct the lady with the unfortunate visage to finish me off as quickly as possible"and she nearly traps it nasty. What a Choker."
and in her surprise, she nearly bites my penis off, which would have been rather more than either of us could digest.
- Spookyhome0
I'm a bluetit without a tiara. I'm packing cold vag cuz I aint licensed to deal in hot sausage but soon as me ducklin chocks up the mankerati I'm sticking on shady gats of all shapes and sizes.
If its kicking I'm Pinky the show pony and haters can drink my pizzle. I'm no rotty, but you're a fuckin yapminkey and I watch your bollocks round the tick.
Ive got knockers, and they like a sausage if a party starts. Like one time some poffy had a bag of chickens. The Po had it up the wriggle tube round the back of Gap, so there we were, flinging lumpy air and smiling nicely at the 'oodlums.
We knocked em out with a peashooter and a conker in a g-string. This was back end of a previous stretch in a city with no name called Chisholme Town. The fat controller dipped into the biscuit fund and the snappers were turned south .
All sounds like barkers to a soft leaf but I'll push it in your paté if you dont play pass the parsnips. Its all going the way of a shemale's swingers out there and I'm ducking trucks and shining trousers round the dial. If you reckon old bluebottle's spotting your dinky have another cookie cuz its el castrato and his gang of woolworth warriors.
- honest0
This thread is a bit Pete Tong
- gramme0
madirish has gotten his wag's purse up in a Ukrainian mob love-tap.