East London Phrases
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- gramme
I'll start.
So I was getting my whiskers boxed at the sheriff's pantry, and along comes this musky duckling, springin' hot biscuits out of her ruffly truffle, and I said "Oi. There's only enough French bacon in this barrel to catch a geezer by the greenery, a'roight luv?"
- 7340
translation: toss a couple more cats on that fire, friend. its getting right chilly in here
- Spookyhome0
I ad this barge end twiggin on my chester's best, noshing for glory in the truffle tray of my old puffy's japuar and theres a clop clop on the iris and its only the very same puffy with her bag face on treble and the right nudge on for a box of bingo "ART, you filthy double wetters" she hollers.
"Double chomp boatface" I goes, and she nearly traps it nasty. What a Choker.
- Spookyhome0
Okay Jack, you've had some time to preparenow, so let's hear what you've got...
- Randd0
FEATHER
There's one thing I don't understand.
(wants to make this clear)
The thing I don't understand ... is every
motherfucking thing you're saying.
- JackRyan0
I can't even come close...I have no idea, its going to take studying, I might possibly need a mentor.
- gramme0
So yesterday I walked into the nuclear sub and asked for the most ping-pong tiddly in the crop. The divorce counselor sends a bird to the welly and tries to turn the miser over, but this dappled rap hits a pound, shucks a sandwich at the pair and one, lights a match and flick's it in her chevy chase; her bird's nest lights up like a shinxy misket, he goes back to his foot like Robert's your mother's brother, doesn't even buy parliament – and his team's won, four-nil.
- Spookytim0
I grabbed this partridge by the sticks, introduced a frenchy, got them mashed as a wag's purse in babylon then slammed em with some top draw herb before dropping them in the sweaty box with a randy gang of guatemalan hog's heads. Meantime, I'm on the easy, flicking old Delia's goods and galloping drafty paddy by the bucket... fourty shots of eyelid later, supper's ready.
Oh, sorry, wrong thread. I thought this was the Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall forum.
- mimeartist0
Casual racists?
- Hahahauncle_helv
- its no different though really, guess more to do with classmimeartist
- slappy0
give us a butchers hook at your bristol cities?
- creative-0
Ginger pube/Tube
- Spookytim0
Game Bird Paté with spicey pork dipping goujon:
"I grabbed this partridge by the sticks"
I got hold of a pheasant by its legs"introduced a frenchy,"
and placed its meat in a bowl with a generous glug of brandy,"got them mashed as a wag's purse in babylon..."
I pounded the meat and brandy hard and repeatedly, as though I was copulating with a footballer's wife in the BBC drama 'Hotel Babylon'..."then slammed em with some top draw herb before dropping them in the sweaty box..."
Next, I rubbed the mix vigorously with a premium blend of fine italian herbs, and then placed it all in the oven..."... with a randy gang of guatemalan hog's heads"
... with some spiced sweet meat sausages"Meantime, I'm on the easy, flicking old Delia's goods..."
Meanwhile, I relax and have a look at some of Delia Smith's recipes in one of her books..."... and galloping drafty paddy by the bucket... "
...whilst consuming copious amounts of draught Guinness in a can..."fourty shots of eyelid later, supper's ready"
A short nap ensues, after which, the game bird paté and spiced goujon are ready for tasting.
- Spookytim0
The incident in the car
"I ad this barge end twiggin on my chester's best"
I found myself enjoying some felatio from a lady who's face looked liked the wrong end of a canal boat."noshing for glory in the truffle tray of my old puffy's japuar"
She was really going at it, on the back seat of my mother's Toyota Camry."and theres a clop clop on the iris and its only the very same puffy..."
When all of a sudden, I hear a knocking on the window and its my dear mother..."with her bag face on treble and the right nudge on for a box of bingo"
With a most disagreeable expression and a sense of urgency caused by her desire to drive to KFC for some chicken wings
"ART, you filthy double wetters" she hollers.
"Get out, you pair of highly aroused pre-coital rapscallions" she shouts
"Double chomp boatface" I goes
So, I instruct the lady with the unfortunate visage to finish me off as quickly as possible"and she nearly traps it nasty. What a Choker."
and in her surprise, she nearly bites my penis off, which would have been rather more than either of us could digest.
- gramme0
Can you translate mine, please?
THX JIMMY
- gramme0
"So I was getting my whiskers boxed at the sheriff's pantry,"
—I was trimming my beard in the bathroom, the decor of which has been commandeered by my lovely wife."and along comes this musky duckling, springin' hot biscuits out of her ruffly truffle,"
—My wife walks in with her pregnant self,"and I said "Oi. There's only enough French bacon in this barrel to catch a geezer by the greenery, a'roight luv?"
—I said "You know, I really enjoy having to share our one sink in the morning. Good times when my whiskers share space with your makeup."
- Spookyhome0
"So I was getting my whiskers boxed at the sheriff's pantry"
- There I was, enjoying a wet shave at the barber's"and along comes this musky duckling, springin' hot biscuits out of her ruffly truffle"
- and in walks a fragrant lady, emitting rectal gasand I said "Oi. There's [already] enough French bacon in this barrel to catch a geezer by the greenery, a'roight luv?"
- so I reasoned with her that the place already reeked to high heaven - of the barber's garlic breath - without her contributions further seering my delicate lungs.
- madirish0
has "fuck off" been stated yet?
- Spookyhome0
I'm a bluetit without a tiara. I'm packing cold vag cuz I aint licensed to deal in hot sausage but soon as me ducklin chocks up the mankerati I'm sticking on shady gats of all shapes and sizes.
If its kicking I'm Pinky the show pony and haters can drink my pizzle. I'm no rotty, but you're a fuckin yapminkey and I watch your bollocks round the tick.
Ive got knockers, and they like a sausage if a party starts. Like one time some poffy had a bag of chickens. The Po had it up the wriggle tube round the back of Gap, so there we were, flinging lumpy air and smiling nicely at the 'oodlums.
We knocked em out with a peashooter and a conker in a g-string. This was back end of a previous stretch in a city with no name called Chisholme Town. The fat controller dipped into the biscuit fund and the snappers were turned south .
All sounds like barkers to a soft leaf but I'll push it in your paté if you dont play pass the parsnips. Its all going the way of a shemale's swingers out there and I'm ducking trucks and shining trousers round the dial. If you reckon old bluebottle's spotting your dinky have another cookie cuz its el castrato and his gang of woolworth warriors.
- honest0
This thread is a bit Pete Tong