Joke of the Day
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- eighteen0
Why can't Hellen Keller drive?
BECAUSE SHE'S DEAD!!!!!
- hahahabigtrickagain
- anne frank?********
- same person********
- janne760
Bigtrick, pls stop groaning. It is discouragering me.
- elahon0
A train hits a bus filled with Catholic school girls
and they all perish.They are in heaven trying to enter the pearly gates
when St. Peter asks the first girl, ' Tiffany, have you ever had any
contact with a male organ?She giggles and shyly replies, 'Well, I once
touched the head of one with the tip of my finger.'
St. Peter says, ' Okay, dip the tip of your finger
in the Holy Water and pass through the gate.'St. Peter asks the next girl the same question
'Jennifer, have you ever had any contact with a male organ?'
The girl is a little reluctant but replies, 'Well,
once I fondled and stroked one.'
St. Peter says, ' Okay, dip your whole hand in the
Holy Water and pass through the gate.'All of a sudden, there is a lot of commotion in the line of girls.
One girl is pushing her way to the front of the line. When she reachesthe front, St. Peter says, 'Reeva, What seems to be the rush?'
The girl replies, 'If I'm going to have to gargle that Holy Water, I
want to do it before Jessica sticks her ass in it.'
- kindofblue0
Two peanuts were walking down the street - One was a-salted.
- bigtrickagain0
A cop is patrolling near midnight in a well-known spot. He sees a couple in a car, with the interior light brightly glowing. The cop carefully approaches the car to get a closer look. Then he sees a young man behind the wheel, reading a computer magazine. He immediately notices a buxom young woman in the rear seat, knitting. Puzzled by this surprising situation, the cop walks to the car and gently raps on the driver’s window.
The young man lowers his window “Uh, yes, officer?”
“What are you doing?”
“Well, isn’t it obvious? I’m reading a magazine, sir “
Pointing towards the young woman in the back seat the cop says: “And her, what is she doing?”
The young man shrugs: “Sir, I believe she’s knitting a pullover sweater.”
Now, the cop is totally confused. A young couple. Alone, in a car, at night in a lovers’ lane. And nothing obscene is happening! “What’s your age, young man?”
“I’m 25, sir.”
“And her ... what’s her age?”
The young man looks at his watch and replies:
“She’ll be 18 in 11 minutes.”
- BuddhaHat0
Q: What do you call an anorexic girl with a yeast infection?
A: A quarter pounder with cheese.
__A guy goes up to a girl in a bar and says, "You want to play 'Magic'?"
She says, "What's that?"
He says, "We go to my house and fuck, and then you disappear."
__Finally, a friend's husband has decided that, at the ripe old age of 48, he needs to get into shape. We went to the gym where a trainer asked him if he could do the splits. 'Of course I can't', he answered. 'How flexible are you?' she asked. To which he replied 'Well, I can't do Tuesdays.'
- LOL @ the first one.discoduro
- hahaha first one is qualitybigtrickagain
- BuddhaHat0
As a tribute to janne's joke from the previous page:
- but... all jokes on the previous page are janne'sbigtrickagain
- Well then either i forgot an 's', or i'm referring specifically to one of them :)BuddhaHat
- wielox0
- Mom Mom, they say that I'm not normal
- who?
- flies
- bigtrickagain0
After a consultation, the doctor said, "Joe, the good news is I can cure your headaches. The bad news is that it will require castration. You see, your testicles seem to be pressing on your spine and the pressure creates one heck of a headache. I can relieve the pressure by removing the testicles."
Joe was shocked and depressed. He wondered if he had anything to live for.
He had no choice but to go under the knife. When he left the hospital, he was without a headache for the first time in fifteen years, but he felt like he was missing an important part of himself. As he walked down the street, he realized that he felt like a different person. He could make a new beginning and live a new life.
He saw a men's clothing store and thought, "That's what I need... a new suit." He entered the shop and told the man behind the counter, "I'd like a new suit." The elderly tailor eyed him briefly and said, "Let's see... size 44 long."
Joe laughed, "That's right, how did you know?" "I've been doing this all my life!" the tailor said. Joe tried on the suit. It fit perfectly.
As Joe admired himself in the mirror, the salesman asked, "How about a new shirt to go with the suit?" Joe thought for a moment and then said, "Sure." The tailor eyed Joe and said, "Let's see, 34 sleeves and 16-1/2 neck."
Joe was surprised, That's right, how did you know?" "Been doing this all my life." Joe tried on the shirt and it fit perfectly. Joe walked comfortably around the shop and the tailor asked, "How about some new underwear?" Joe thought for a moment and said, "Sure."
The tailor said, "Let's see... size 36." Joe laughed, and said "No no, I've worn a size 34 since I was 18 years old."
The tailor shook his head, "You can't wear a size 34. A size 34 would press your testicles up against the base of your spine and give you one heck of a headache!"
- this was told to me by my boss^3 (boss of the boss of my boss) in the company kitchen just nowbigtrickagain
- Fucking LOL! Awesome!elahon
- ZIIINNNGGG!!!ideaist
- lol********
- bigtrickagain0
Q: What do you call a man with a seagull on his head?
A: Cliff
- CALLES0
- loltf!bigtrickagain
- why does that poor lobster have a lady gaga under him??********
- bliznutty0
Q: What's the difference between a circus and a sorority?
A: One is an array of cunning stunts
- ********0
Why do immigrant people smell?
...So blind people can hate them too...
- BuddhaHat0
Q: How many indie hipsters does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: *sigh* I have this joke on vinyl.
- elahon0
Q: What did the bannana say to the vibrator?
A: "What are you shaking for? She's going to eat me!"