Joke of the Day
- Started
- Last post
- 679 Responses
- BuddhaHat0
A female dwarf goes to a doctor complaining of an embarrassing itch in the groin area. The doctor looks her up and down, picks her up and stands her on his desk. He lifts up her skirt and puts his head under. A little perplexed, she hears snip, snip, snip, snip.
The doctor emerges from under her skirt. "How's that?" he asks
"Well, it's a lot better actually" she says, "but...........it's still there."
Undaunted, he dives back under her skirt. Snip, snip, snip,snip. Out he comes."How's that?" he asks again more confident.
"That's wonderful! What did you do?" she asked.
"I trimmed the top of your Ugg boots."
- i laughed before realizing that it wasn't funnybigtrickagain
- tymeframe0
Two blonde women were standing on opposite sides of a river. One yells to the other "How do I get to the other side?".
The other thinks for a second, then yells back "You idiot, you are on the other side!".
- tymeframe0
A construction worker fell to his death off a scaffolding one day.
The other guys were trying to figure out who was going to tell his wife, and how to tell her. Finally one of the guys decides he will talk to the wife. He goes to talk to the wife, then comes back with a six pack of beer.
Stunned, one of the guys asked what the hell happened. The guy with the beer said "Well, I knocked on the door and asked 'Are you Steve's widow?'. She said 'No I'm not a widow'. Then I said 'I bet you a six pack you are!'.
- such0
What's the difference between Sarah Palin's mouth and her vagina?
Only some of the things that come out of her vagina are retarded.- Ouch!kgvs72
- Bravo!
rupedixon - Thats pretty fantastic.CygnusZero4
- dragonfruit0
what did sushi A say to sushi B?
Wassup-B!
- WhiteFace0
A piece of bacon and an egg are siting in a frying pan.
The egg says to the bacon, "wow, it's hot in here" the bacon replies "FUCK ME A TALKING EGG!!!"
- WhiteFace0
Yorkshire man takes his cat to the vet.
Yorkshireman: Ayup, lad, I need to talk to thee about me cat.
Vet: Is it a tom?
Yorkshireman: Nay, I've browt it with us.- wassup vanilla face?74LEO
- lolhans_glib
- hahahahbigtrickagain
- i had to read that 5 times before I got it. but it made me laugh.capn_ron
- fucking yorkie twats********
- dijitaq0
mike, the flea, took a trip down to miami on his summer vacation. at the beach, while looking for a spot to tan, mike spots his life-long buddy, oscar, looking miserable with a blanket covering his body, blood-shot eyes and a runny nose.
"you're in miami, why you look so gloomy" mike asked.
"i hitched a ride on a guy's mustache. it turns out he was a motorcycle rider. he took a ride down the highway with an open-faced helmet. that's how i got this flu." oscar replied.
"let me give you an advise. when you're looking to hitch a ride, go to the toilet at executive lounge at the airport and wait for a hot stewardess. then you hop on her warm bush for a ride."
about a month later, mike and oscar met up again. oscar still look miserable with a flu.
"i took uo on your advise and went to the executive lounge at the airport. i waited for the hottest stewardess to go to the toilet." oscar said. "then i hopped on her bush, just like you said. it was warm and cozy so i fell asleep. next thing i knew i was in that guy's mustache on a motorcycle speeding down the highway."
- scarabin0
one morning in valhalla after a particularly indulgent night of orgy, exhausted gods are suddenly awoken by the great hall's doors slamming open. a giant man enters bearing a massive hammer.
"I'M THOR", he announces, his voice booming.
one of the gods answers, irritated:
"you're thor? i'm tho thor i can barely thit!"
- fryday0
whats the biggest drawback of the jungle?
an elephants foreskin
- ********0
Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich
- Projectile0
What is a wok?
it's somefing you thwow at a wabbit!!!
- JayCee0
Q. What did one tit say to the other?
A. I hope we get support soon or people will think we’re nuts.
- CALLES0
So France Goes to a World Cup...
- dbloc0
A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke? ""In a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, ""Before you tell that joke, you should know something. ""Our bartender IS blonde, the bouncer is blonde. I'm a 6' tall, 200 lb black belt. The guy sitting next to me is 6'2"", weighs 225, and he's a rugby player. The fell a to your right is 6'5"" pushing 300 and he's a wrestler. Each one of US is blonde. Think about it, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke? ""The blind guy says, ""Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times.
- ********0
A single woman is like an empty restaurant. You think something's wrong with the food.
- R-aI0
A man begins to chat up a girl at a bar.
She is uninterested and in an attempt to get rid of him she says,
"I wouldn't sleep with you if you were the last man on Earth!"
The man replies,
"If that were the case, who would be there to stop me?"
- bigtrick0
A drunken man staggers in to a Catholic church and sits down in a confessional and says nothing. The bewildered priest coughs to attract his attention, but still the man says nothing. The priest then knocks on the wall three times in a final attempt to get the man to speak.
Finally, the drunk replies: "No use knockin' ...mate, there's no paper in this stall either."
