Joke of the Day
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- ********0
What's the difference between a vagina and a fridge?
.
.A fridge doesn't fart when you pull the meat out
- ********0
Bump!
- huglife0
why does snoop dog always carry an umbrella?
for drizzle
- graham4140
Whats the difference between he queen of England and a Minnesota farmer?
One has a Can-o-pee under their bed.
- mistermik0
My son came home from school looking all excited.
"I got an B on my reading test," he told me.
"That's a fucking D, you wee prick" I replied.
- mistermik0
When I'm naked in a changing room, I like to speak in an American accent.
---
I'm trying to make people think that American people have small penises.
- OhYeah0
My wife came home from work crying yesterday and asked me to console her.
So I hit her over the head with my Xbox360.
- kingsteven0
How do you organise a party in outer space?
...
Plan it
- BusterBoy0
Was feeling a little under the weather today. Thought it may have been that fucken pig flu. So I called up the Swine Flu hotline we've got here...absolutely useless as a hatful of arseholes. All I got was crackling down the line.
- bliznutty0
I received a phone call from a gorgeous ex-girlfriend who this morning called 'out-of-the-blue' to see if I was still around. We lost track of time, chatting about the wild, romantic times we used to enjoy together. I couldn't believe it when she asked if I'd be interested in meeting up and rekindling a little of that 'old magic'.
'Wow!' I was flabbergasted. 'I don't know if I could keep pace with you now', I said. 'I'm a bit older and a bit grayer and balder than when you last saw me - plus I don't really have the energy I used to have.'
She just giggled and said she was sure I would 'rise to the challenge'.
'Yeah.' I said. 'Just so long as you don't mind a waistline that's a few inches wider these days! Not to mention my total lack of muscle tone ... everything is sagging, my teeth are a bit yellowed and I am developing jowls like a Great Dane!'
She laughed and told me to stop being so silly. She teased me saying that tubby, gray haired, older men were cute, and she was sure I would still be a great lover. Anyway, she giggled and said, 'I've put on a few pounds myself!'
So I told her to fuck off.
- rofl__TM
- ahahahaarmsbottomer
- hahahahahahaCoffeemaker
- £O£********
- Recycling already? This is from page 2 or 3 or something...Lillebo
- Jimbo820
One for the ladies...
"Women are like public toilets...
they're all dirty except for the disabled ones"
- elahon0
Aging Mildred was a 93 year-old woman who was particularly despondent over the recent death of her husband Earl.
She decided that she would just kill herself and join him in death.
Thinking that it would be best to get it over with quickly, she took out Earl's old Army pistol and made the decision to shoot herself in the heart since it was so badly broken in the first place.
Not wanting to miss the vital organ and become a vegetable and burden to someone, she called her doctor to inquire as to just exactly where the heart would be.
"On a woman," the doctor said, "your heart would be just below your left breast."
Later that night, Mildred was admitted to the hospital with a gunshot wound to her knee.
- ahahahh
GeorgesII - Hahahahahaha!!!miesvan
- HAHAHAHHACoffeemaker
- hahahahahahahah!!!!miesvan
- ahahahh
- brandelec0
What's the difference between parsley and pussy?
-who eats parsley?
- iCanHazQBN0
What did the tampon say to the other tampon?
Nothing. They were both stuck up bitches.
- i like thisbaseline_shift
- err it's stuck up c*nts btwProjectile
- ********0
Quote of the day:
'The financial situation at the moment is so bad that women are now marrying for love'
- baseline_shift0
heres a clean one:
What did one frog say to the other frog?
'Times fun when you are having flies!'
- styleplus_amillion0
A bear and and a rabbit are chilling in meadow.
BEAR to RABBIT:
Hey man, random question... do you ever get the problem of shit sticking to your fur?RABBIT to BEAR:
Naw dude, never.The bear then picks up the rabbit and wipes is ass with the rabbit.
RABBIT (covered in feces) to BEAR:
dude, WTF!BEAR to RABBIT: dude, I thought that shit wouldn't stick...
- Have that on a greeting card, never found anyone to give it tocomicsans
- LOL!!!Coffeemaker
- casparclaasen0
"Can I get a two-way ticket, please?"
"Of course, sir. Where to?"
"Well, er... here."
