Joke of the Day
- Started 16 years ago
- Last post 8 months ago
- 679 Responses
- ********0
Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%..
It's called a Wedding Cake.
- ********0
Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.
- mistermik0
The other day, my girlfriend asked "Will we ever have sex with the other hole?"
I said "Fuck off, you might get pregnant!"
- mistermik0
I've just read that men who live in Reykjavik, on average have the biggest penises in the world.
So thats why mums go to Iceland.
- MSTRPLN0
Man some of these are gold, this is really making Friday bearable
- chossy0
how many feminists does it take to change a light bulb two one to change the bulb and the other to suck my dong yo!.
- D_Dot0
My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds.'
I bought her a scale.
- mistermik0
Q) Why did Charles Dickens make his own wine?
A) He had “Grape Expectations”haha all day.
- Mal0
Guy walks into a Doctors office with a frog on his head. The Docotr asks 'How can I help you'?
The frog replies 'Can you get this guy off my arse'?
- wrong0
Your mommas so fat, she tried to go on the Atkins diet but couldn't make it through the induction phase because her cravings for sweets and complex carbohydrates proved too powerful to overcome.
- theyCallMeMista0
I'm sorry but this is hilarious to me...
Q: Where does a King keep him armies?
A: Up his sleevies!
- redant0
these jokes are stupid. I thought I could get a laugh and they are all about anal sex. STOOPID. All fags. :)
- sorry i got a little offended!redant
- don't be so analPeter
- fuck off redant********
- bollocks my joke was about degrading the feminist movement.chossy
- LOL Chossy!Coffeemaker
- bliznutty0
Why wasn't Jesus born in {Insert town name here} ?
Because they couldn't find 3 wise men or a virgin!
- lolCoffeemaker
- Why wasn't Jesus born in Bethlehem?Lillebo
- Because it's fiction.Lillebo
- own :pjasonabc
- redant0
Q: What did the maxi pad say to the fart?
A: You are the wind beneath my wings
- elahon0
Q: Why can't Jesus eat M&M's?
A: Because they keep falling through the holes in his hands.
- GeorgesII0
knock knock...
- chossy0
This nerdy guy goes to prison for stealing money from banks using his hacking skills.
He gets to his cell and there is a massive dude there waiting for him. The dude says we are going to play a game, The nerdy guy says, oh shit, what game?. The big dude says mommies and daddies the nerdy guy says nooo. The bug dude says aye we are what do you want to be?, mommie or daddie?.... The nerdy guy says........ daddie. The big dude says ok then, come over here and suck your mommies cock.
- chossy0
Englishman Irishman Scotsman are in a prison camp, they hatch a plot to escape and it come to fruition, they get over the fence and end up running through the outlying woods, when they are spotted by a roaming set of guards so they split up and hide in various areas, Scotsman up a tree, Englishman in some bushes, Irishman behind some stones.
Within a couple of minutes the guards are upon them, they look up towards the scotsman, so he caws like a bird, the guards move on they poke around the bush the Englishman is in so he snarls like a fox, the guards move on, they get to the irishman and start moving the stones so the irishman says 'sack of tatties'.
- chossy0
This guys wife is acting really weird so he takes her to the doc's to get her checked out, the doctor says well sir she has either aids or althzeimers the man says what do I do?.....
The doctor says take her to the middle of town if she finds her way home dinae fuck her.
- BattleAxe0
A man is woken up at 4 am by someone knocking on the door he answers
Man: Can I help, do you have any Ideas what time it is , I have to be at work by 6:00 am , what the hell do you want
Pepito: Could you give me a push ,
Man: WTF, a push, it is 4 AM, now leave me the fuck alone (slams door)the man tries to go to bed but his guilty conscience starts to kick in and can't sleep
He opens the door and calls into the night,
Man: Hey , hey Pepito you still out there, do you still need a push
Pepito: Yes , I am over here on the swing- ?....chossy
- Whaaaaat theeee fuuuuucckCarl_Weathers
- I've read this 5 times. it's now funny.Carl_Weathers
- hahahaslappy
- this is idioticbigtrick
- hahahaha i laughed immediatly.. don't know what is weird about it hahahahaCoffeemaker