Punches For:
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- Continuity3
Netflix.
They've got that handy, magnificent 'Skip Intro' button, to skip over the titles of every show in their catalogue. Except:
Enterprise.
Star Trek: Enterprise.
Star Trek 'This Fucking Song Makes Me Want to Eat Cyanide by the Spoonful': Enterprise.
- LOLDRIFTMONKEY
- Use the magnificent fast forward buttonmonospaced
- That really is the worst intro song ever.********
- Also, good thinking mono********
- I'm smart!monospaced
- It's been a long road, getting from there to here.
It's been a long time, but my time is finally near.ETM - And I will see my dream come alive at last. I will touch the sky.ETM
- And they're not gonna hold me down no more, no they're not gonna change my mind.
Cause I've got faith of the heart.
I'm going where my heart will take me.ETM - I've got faith to believe. I can do anything.
I've got strength of the soul.ETM - And no one's gonna bend or break me.
I can reach any star.
I've got faith.
I've got faith, faith of the heart.ETM - I will now fully accept being permabanned.ETM
- There's a really special kind of hell waiting for you, you know!Continuity
- That intro has one of the very worst songs I've ever heard but the series is underrated. It's way better than Voyager and DS9.CyBrainX
- Continuity0
Throat-punches for every single cunt who seems to think it's socially acceptable to eat their stinky döner kebab on public transport.
- Same with Chinese food @ work. Or anything fried, really. Eat a salad you fat bitch!section_014
- Oh yeah. I want to stab any lard ass in an elevator with their greasy sack of fried shit.CyBrainX
- cannonball19780
Airheads behind me in the cafe who hiss their letter S when they talk to each other. It doesn't matter how loudly I turn my headphones up, I can still hear these morons doing this.
What is it with women who feel the need to hiss at each other? Is it some kind of subconscious value signal or something?
- moldero2
My media temple (mt) grid is down again
- face_melter6
Amazon and anyone else for that matter who thinks that this is in any way, shape, or form, a good idea.
https://www.theverge.com/2017/10…
Yes. Let Amazon continuously monitor your home *and* let someone be able to unlock your door. What could possibly go wrong?
Fuck the internet of everything, fuck smart assistants, fuck talking clocks, fuck little bleeping boxes who tell you you need more bog roll, fuck lightbulbs that don't work because they need a firmware update. Fuck it all to fucking fuck.
- And don't start with this tinfoil hat 'oh but your mobile phone is listening to you all the time' shite. Mobile phones don't have a key to my front door.face_melter
- If I ever get anything iot, it's going to be something I built from scratch.section_014
- +1
that last paragraph
https://www.youtube.…
:-)Bluejam - and our couriers are happy to have to go into any old shit-hole because they're just fleshy drones who will do it or be replacedFax_Benson
- ^^ I was leaning more towards this:
https://www.youtube.…
about 1:50 in.face_melter - @face_melter
https://media.tenor.…Bluejam - I just use Amazon Locker. It's usually on the way home anyway.garbage
- Avoid using Amazon! Ive boycotted it for years. Been meaning to root my phone to a linux based next and set a Rasberry pi to host my own internet and I'm free!mugwart
- Shop local, build relationships with communities etc. Fucking smile to your bus driver and avoid this cooperate shit.mugwart
- cunts!mugwart
- this is a good idea. the funny part is everyone complaining. just don't sign up for the service dipshit.imbecile
- not too sure what everyone is afraid of. theft from an employee who is completely trackable by a company who is responsible for them?imbecile
- or that they're going to rape you and your kids when none of you are home. because that's a total possibility...imbecile
- for me its a psychological one. You have given permission to a coperation, one that listens to your house, watches your house and now gives enterence.mugwart
- isnt the owner of this on a major cia board of commitees or something I read?mugwart
- We give up any and all privacy with the other digital information we create being network traffic, direct deposit, electronic locks, plus all our phone data.imbecile
- Digital information is not physical entry into your property.face_melter
- http://www.qbn.com/r…sofas
- true face, but allowing someone in your home is consensual and far from the most dangerous thing people do each day. consider me signed upimbecile
- my neighbors have a key to my house. A girl I no longer date still has a key to my house. Individuals should choose their own levels of trust.imbecile
- barking like this, that no one should have it because you don't want it makes you sound like a bigger idiot than i know you to be.imbecile
- Good for you.face_melter
- scarabin_net2
mechanical keyboards. sounds like a fricking machine gun attack typing this. why do people want keyboards that are so loud?
- what!? say that again - I've got to file this copy to the editor by end of playFax_Benson
- yeah, not good for a shared office, but at home...clickity, tick tick. like tap dancing.bezoar
- sarahfailin2
- Wax?Ramanisky2
- Eagle Mullets?moldero
- he looks pretty good hereGnash
- what did he do besides make straight-to-netflix... 1-start action movies every ... single ... year?monospaced
- Great... who’d he rape?
Oh wait... this is just a pic... no news story attached... *phewPonyBoy - lol, ponyGnash
- Although, I bet he's shitting bricks every time he checks twitterGnash
- This guy is no joke one of the best actors in existence, ask any director. His range is phenomenal. Not saying he hasn’t made a bunch of stupid movies.HijoDMaite
- i just watched 15 minutes of the x-mas movie "Family Man" and decided he so needed to be here.sarahfailin
- evel knievel?notype
- He practically raped Elvis.pango
- He was good in about two movies!mugwart
- Valley Girl
Raising Arizona
Leaving Las VegasRamanisky2 - And Faceoff!!! You forgot FACEOFF!!!PonyBoy
- welllll ok, Faceoff I guess, but if you include that one you have to include Con Air.Ramanisky2
- The Rock. End of discussion.monospaced
- the list just keeps building...PonyBoy
- Fuck forgot about The RockRamanisky2
- Matchstick menHijoDMaite
- https://youtu.be/F1X…pango
- Bangkok Dangerous
End of story. He dies.CyBrainX
- scarabin_net3
- pours out potato juiceGuyFawkes
- r/WeWantPlatesDRIFTMONKEY
- oh man, that's a gold mine of bullshitteryscarabin
- This gave me a stroke.garbage
- Congratulations, your hipster cafe has reached level 10_niko
- Waiter - "How was everything Sir?"
Scarabin - "The fries were OK but I didn't think much of the strange cabbage in the pots."microkorg - ^ lolscarabin
- utopian4
people
who
do
not
know
the
difference
between
fascism
and
communism- people would have to start with knowing the definition of eitherGnash
- People would have to stop being ignorant assholes. Not going to happen. Ever.CyBrainX
- it's not a poem numbnutscannonball1978
- monoboy1
"Your call is important to us and you are moving up the cue. Your call will be answered by the next available consultant."
But not important enough to warrant employing enough consultants. Or have correct details on your fucking website.
25 minutes on hold and counting.
For a business banking account.
Cunts.
- There's an app that waits for you and calls you back when they answer...********
- WeQ4u********
- I use often, it's great, can find free alternatives to numbers that charge you a bomb too********
- Witchcraft. Thanks.monoboy
- There's an app that waits for you and calls you back when they answer...
- chukkaphob2
- Hahaha yup!Continuity
- seriously.Krassy
- Strange********
- so, he's a people person. no big dealGnash
- Same thing with cars in parking lots.ETM
- just wants to make friends...shrugs.utopian
- Turner Brown?********
- cool bathroom layoutsarahfailin
- Gnash2
subscription based software – nickel-and-diming us to death
- we're sapshans_glib
- i love paying $50/mo for photoshop at home, which i use maybe 6 times a yearscarabin_net
- detritus1
Vector PDFs that are actually just PDF files with web-scale bitmaps dropped into them.
- moldero4
been working with 3 different web development guys out of arizona, (I do random shit for the same clients) found out last month, 1 guy doesn't even know how to code, he sends all his work out to india, ok fine, they do good code, whatever.
Found out today the same thing about another one of these so called "developers" when I was talking to him about the most basic wordpress shit, guy had no idea what the fuck I was talking about, and then basically said "my team of developers will do blah blah blah tonight and you'll have it in the morning". makes me wonder about the third developer. FFS. I'm assuming these guys could only sell to guys who don't know websites at all, like small mom and pop shops, their "web development" business wouldn't survive 5 minutes in California.Even as a salesman, you gotta know what the fuck your selling FFS, but they dont even call themselves salesmen, they market themselves as "developers", what a fucking joke.
- mg332
The continued phone calls I'm getting for web design services because I didn't purchase a domain with privacy guard on it.
When they ask me what my business is, or what the website is going to be, I tell them, as slowly as I can draw it out, that I'm making a web page that very clearly tells people to purchase privacy guard when they register a domain, so they "don't get inundated with phone calls like this one every day." LOL
Then I tell them I'd love their help designing that page. I really need to start recording these calls.
- lolmoldero
- give them the number of the developers that Moldero is working withGnash
- "Sir, may I ask what your business is?"
"Spaghetti Art"
...... *dial tonekona - I'm so busy at work, I don't have the time to mess with them as I'd like, which is to take 20 minutes to describe the project before I tell them the punchline.mg33
- During one call, I said my business was to promote a recipe that was to take a pizza, wrap it in a tortilla, wrap it in another pizza, then a waffle,mg33
- then chocolate cake, and coat it in icing, and bake it at 350 for an hour.mg33
- I said precisely that at least 6 times, and eventually the guy could say all that back to me.mg33
- After like 5 minutes of this, when he asked what I needed help with, I told him "nothing, because I'm a web designer, a developer, and a marketing guru."mg33
- "But thanks for your time and i hope you visit the site one day to check out the recipe." LMAO I wish I had recorded this so badly...mg33
- lolmonospaced
- lolGnash
- wow - is this still an issue. never give your landline (if that still exists). give mobile and use android - my phone blocks all suspicious spam calls nowfadein11
- without me doing anything. love it.fadein11
- PonyBoy1
Clients that feel it my duty to upgrade their stupid sound or looping background video to 'work' with Safari 11's new 'no autoplay' policy FOR FREE as if it's my fault Apple changed their policy / software.
I tried running this analogy by my client: "You upgraded your vehicle w/a new part (you upgraded your laptop w/Safari 11) but now old features of your vehicle aren't working as they once did (your twatty sound and background video no longer 'autoplay'). You now need to hire and PAY a mechanic to troubleshoot / see if your old features will even work now that you've upgraded your vehicle w/ a new part (you need to hire and PAY me to troubleshoot... blah blah)"
Them: "I don't follow..."
- inteliboy1
People who record special moments of their lives for internet points.
Next time you watch some viral marriage proposal video, or some kid opening a gift, or some other important intimate moment that is plastered over reddit or facebook or whatever....
There is some absolute dickhead who has purposefully planned and now experienced the entire thing from behind their phone so they can get internet points. Pisses me off.
- watch ingrid goes west_niko
- or maybe ... just MAYBE ... they captured something special for someone they love, and people responded and shared that. But that's a HUGE maybe.monospaced
- https://www.youtube.…bainbridge
- mono - sure, am generalising.inteliboy
- but seriously ... internet points? what are you talking about? is that something you imagine?monospaced
- bainbridge3
People who makes videos about buying phones.
It's sad that it doesn't surprise me that people are making 12 minute videos about going shopping at an Apple store.
- oh jesus fuckin christGuyFawkes
- now i need to go to the apple store and buy a new ipad because i just punched it.GuyFawkes
- narcissism is out of controlinteliboy
- I couldn't stand it for more than a minute.MrT
- god she got her dad to help film her after/while buying her an iphone. awful awful awfulsarahfailin